Taking Control of Your Life
Living with fibromyalgia syndrome (FMS) and chronic fatigue syndrome (CFS or ME/CFS) is difficult. The condition can take over every aspect of your life. However, you can – with effort – learn to manage your symptoms. You may never be able to completely control them, but successful management can put you back in the driver’s seat.
Managing these conditions requires emotional coping techniques, life-style changes and proper nutrition in addition to what your doctors can do for you.
Emotional Coping Techniques
After getting a diagnosis of fibromyalgia or chronic fatigue syndrome, it’s normal to feel a variety of emotions. It’s important for you to deal with these feelings and to recognize them for what they are – the stages of grief. You'll likely have to grieve for your old life in order to make the best progress at managing your new one.
In her book On Death and Dying, Elizabeth Kubler-Ross identifies five stages of grief that a patient goes through after learning of a terminal prognosis. While FMS and ME/CFS won't kill you, you could still feel an overwhelming sense of loss. That's understandable, because you likely will need to make some big changes to your lifestyle. The stages of grief are:
- Denial – A refusal to accept what is happening.
- Anger – Feeling like it’s not fair or being angry in general.
- Bargaining – Promising something such as being a better person if the situation goes away.
- Depression – Giving up, not caring what happens.
- Acceptance – Coming to terms with the situation and being ready to move forward.
Once you've moved through these stages, coping will probably be easier but you still could have emotional set-backs. If you're unable to progress through the stages of grief or feel that you could be clinically depressed, be sure to tell your doctor. You may need to see a counselor to help you through it, and medications may help as well. Remember that clinical depression often occurs with in conjunction with these conditions.
You also should build a support network, whether it be through friends and family or support groups in your community or online. Have someone you can talk to when things get rough.
Specific coping techniques for fibromyalgia are below. For help coping with chronic fatigue syndrome, see Page 2.
Fibromyalgia: Life-Style Changes
Early on, the inconsistency of your symptoms can pose a huge barrier to your understanding them. It will be helpful to both you and your doctor if you keep a symptom journal. Make note of what symptoms you're experiencing, whether you exerted yourself physically before they started or increased, what you've eaten, your stress level, and how well you've been sleeping. Also look for patterns that may follow your menstrual cycle. Over time, you may be able to discover that certain things trigger your flare ups. Common triggers include:
- Infection
Be sure to see a doctor if you suspect and infection and get it treated promptly. - Trauma
You're likely to need extra time to recover from physical trauma, such as an injury or surgery. - Stress
Take steps to reduce your daily stress level and learn how to better deal with the stress you can't avoid, possibly through relaxation techniques, yoga or tai chi. - Changes in medication, diet or exercise
A consistent schedule is crucial. Be sure to keep exercise low-impact and moderate, with gradual increases in your exertion level. - Insufficient sleep
Try to go to bed and wake up at the same time every day. A hot bath in the evening can help you relax. If you need help with sleep issues, talk to your doctor. - Onset of allergies
Try to avoid your exposure to known allergens. You may need to talk to your doctor about what allergy medication is best for you.
The more you can learn about your flare-ups the more you can do to mitigate them. In some cases, it may be impossible to identify a trigger.
As you become more familiar with your triggers and symptoms, look for beneficial ways to change your day-to-day life.
- Help at home
You may need to arrange for help with housework and taking care of your children, whether it’s through family and friends or by hiring someone. - Changes at work
Many people with fibromyalgia make on-the-job changes, work fewer hours, or switch to jobs that are easier on them physically and/or mentally. Talk to your supervisor about your condition and what accommodations you may need. - Moderate exercise
When you're tired and sore, exercise is probably the last thing on your mind. Experts say, though, that regular moderate exercise is critical in managing the pain of FMS. Something simple such as a daily walk can help keep joints loose and improve muscle endurance, both of which can lessen pain.
Fibromyalgia: Nutrition
A poor diet can make your FMS symptoms worse, so eating well is key. No dietary or nutritional approach is universally accepted for fibromyalgia, but increasing evidence shows that some nutritional changes might improve your symptoms.
To find out what foods may aggravate your symptoms, you can try an elimination diet.
- On Page 2: Coping with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome
