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Adrienne Dellwo

Torture & Symptoms of Fibromyalgia/Chronic Fatigue Syndrome

By August 28, 2013

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"Torture" is a serious word. People may use it casually to describe the wait for a boyfriend to call or some other relatively minor matter, but I want to consider this word in all its seriousness.

Some people may say symptoms of fibromyalgia and chronic fatigue syndrome are torture. This isn't a frivolous use - they're exactly right.

I was recently watching a show about spies and a character was describing techniques used to break someone down. These included:

  • Sleep deprivation,
  • Noise irritation,
  • Sensory overload,
  • And, of course, pain.

Most of these techniques, the character said, aren't recognized as torture by the Geneva convention but certainly feel like it to someone undergoing them. I can relate.

Those four torture techniques are all things that we experience daily with these conditions. Just yesterday I was struggling with sleep deprivation after two nights of much-interrupted sleep. I couldn't think straight, I was irritable, and I wanted to just scream at the world and curl up in a hole somewhere. Three days ago I was sobbing uncontrollably because 0f excruciating muscle spasms in my hip.

My family knows that it's easy for me to reach my limit on noise and over-stimulation in general. I've written before about how I practically ran in panic from a fast-food place because a blatting alarm was malfunctioning and wouldn't turn off.

This is something to tell people who give us those "I get tired, too," or "you'll feel better if you just smile" lines. Anyone who thinks they get what we go through without understanding that our symptoms are torture techniques needs some re-education.

Remind yourself of this the next time you feel weak for not being able to do something, and remember that at times you do put a smile on your face and keep moving forward, in spite of the torture. These techniques are used to bring down some of the toughest and best-trained people out there, and you deal with them every day. Who seems tough now?

Learn more or join the conversation!


August 28, 2013 at 9:20 pm
(1) sandy thornton says:

bottom teeth pulled, high humidity and dewpoint = living hell

August 29, 2013 at 12:03 am
(2) Cynthia says:

I am super hyper sensitive, to light to sound to heat and even my reflexes show a very real hyper reaction. I am exhausted (plus as a prize I also have sleep apnea) all the time. I am the tin man I just want my oil can and a heart lol!

August 29, 2013 at 12:37 pm
(3) Lola says:

“You’ll feel better if you just smile” is because it creates endorphins, which are brain chemicals. I used to try this, but over the last three weeks I couldn’t move the muscles in my face, I could barely speak. I used to be the one smiling at work all the time, talking to everyone. But in the last few weeks I could barely stand. It was laborious to walk to the printer. I would arrive to work a few minutes later and later each day. I thought I was just going to drop to the floor any moment and die. My eyes would close by themselves while I was sitting at my desk. When I looked at the computer the pressure behind my eyes made everything blurry. The doctor told me it was just a flare up with severe Fibro Fog. He told me exercise is the only thing that will help. I went to the gym yesterday morning and guess what: This morning I actually smiled to people at work and had a few conversations. I feel like myself again. I HATE fibromyalgia more than anything. My legs still hurt, but at least I feel like a human again because I CAN smile.

August 29, 2013 at 1:21 pm
(4) Rachael says:

In response to Lola’s comment about exercise making her feel better. I’m glad exercise works for you Lola, but I’ve just been reading “The Mood Cure”by Julia Ross and she said something on pg 113 of the book that I have always believed about my illness ME/CFS. “Quote”, “It’s true that you should be able to stay high on your own endorphins, since things like sunlight, music, romance, EXERCISE, and nature can all raise endorphin levels. But they can’t help you if your basic levels are so low that you have nothing to work with.” I believe many of us with ME/CFS and to some extent FM are so dopamine/endorphin depleted that exercise will only exacerbate symptoms. A great read BTW, for anyone trying to find relief from depression, anxiety, oversensitivity etc.using amino acids, supplements and good-mood foods.

August 29, 2013 at 1:52 pm
(5) Lisa Hellen says:


August 29, 2013 at 2:33 pm
(6) Vicky K. says:

Torture is exactly what we deal with. I found a place to walk that is perfect for me – level, scenic and relaxing. I love walking there at my own pace with my dog. But I began having major back issues and cannot walk that much or I deal with terrible pain that goes down my leg. My muscles spasm. I’m waiting to hear results of an MRI. I try to smile and be positive but it’s been hard. I’m stuck at home most of the time.

August 29, 2013 at 5:16 pm
(7) Rachael says:

cont. At times, how different what eases our ME/CFS and fibromyalgia symptoms seem from each other. What relieves the torture (stress/pain/malaise/insomnia) for one person (eg exercise), may cause torture (stress/pain/malaise/insomnia) for another. A major reason may be that we are low, or deficient in different neurochemicals. These imbalances in various brain chemicals may cause similar symptoms, but in each of us different neurotransmitter deficits are responsible for our torture.

Is it because you are
Low in NOREPINEPHRIN or Thyroid
Low in GABA or Cortisol
Low in ENDORPHIN or have

Take the quiz:

August 30, 2013 at 10:56 am
(8) Shakota says:

Another aspect of torture is the inability to predict what the torturer (pain, etc) will inflict next. Sure, there may be patterns of variability but no real knowledge of when and what’s going to happen to it.

I like this analogy of torture. Not only because it puts the pain intensity in a proper category but speaks also of the emotional and mental parts of torture.

Of course, there is no way one can compare actual torture to FM/ME. For a terrific account of torture in a Latin American country, find the book “Truck of Fools” by Carlos Liscano. He describes the torture he received and he took him decades to be able to write about it and he’s a writer by profession.
It’s moving beyond belief.

August 30, 2013 at 4:09 pm
(9) SA says:

Top teeth pulled sciatica excruciating severe loss of lower body mobility

August 30, 2013 at 4:22 pm
(10) Valerie machemer says:

As for torture, for me it is not knowing what is going to attack me next. For weeks now my knee has been hurting me so bad that I could barely walk. Once again I went to the doctor and nothing was wrong. I went for an xray and ultrasound and still nothing. My insurance denied a MRI. So I live with it. Now I wake up and I have an ache in my tooth so bad I can’t even think. I go to the dentist exray shows nothing, except that I had a root canal and Iit shouldn’t hurt. He sends me to a specialist. He takes an exray and once again nothing. My choices are to pull it out or remove the root canal and redo it. Not only do these people think it’s all in my mind but I as m spending money I don’t have. Is this normal for fybromyalgia? Loosing my credibility is torture. Noone believes me anymore.

August 30, 2013 at 6:38 pm
(11) Barbara says:

Valerie, Yes what you describe fits into FM. I’ve had FM for probably 47 years. I do have dental/facial pain sometimes. I have a wonderful dentist. I wait it out for awhile and then she checks out. A couple of times I needed root canals. The other times, we decided it was FM and it would eventually ease. Sometimes terrible flares have made me stop working and lose my jobs. The medical tests and xrays don’t show FM, so I’ve learned for me, that when they can’t find something I tell myself they’ve ruled out other problems and it’s FM. Then, I tell myself I’ve been here before and usually over time, the symptoms ease or change into something else! I think I’ve had all the FM symptoms ever listed and more. My sensitivity to stress (anxiety, depression, PTSD) has caused me to have 3 broken heart events so this is life-threatening for me. Well, I guess this is too much information! I wish you the best.

August 30, 2013 at 7:02 pm
(12) Barb says:

i have lived with CFS for 20 years. Thank the Gulf War. i have osteoarthritis in my toes, right knee, lower back, neck, wrists and hands. i have fibromyalgia as well. i understand everyone’s symptoms are different and we (all of us) don’t know from day to day what’s going to flare up and what’s not. if i push myself one day it usually takes two days to recuperate.
what i am wondering, because no one has mentioned it in this particular discussion is this: is anyone on any pain medication? or have you either not been able to get some or can’t afford it? since there is no known cause or cure for CFS, my doctor treats my symptoms. i take hydro 3 times a day, neurontin for burning feet, ibuprofen to relieve inflammation, and a host of other drugs for other symptoms i have not mentioned here. if i forget to take the pain meds when i get out of bed, within 4-5 hours my pain comes back in full force, but i am blessed with a doctor who keeps on top of and believes everything i talk about when i see her each month.
i am not trying to tell anyone how to live their lives, it just seems that if one is or is not on pain meds doesn’t seem to get mentioned. thanks.

August 30, 2013 at 8:23 pm
(13) Maria says:

In response to Barb, I do indeed take medication, more than I wish I had to. Currently I am on Duragesic patches and Percocet for Chronic Daily Headaches and Migraines, which have been very helpful, more so than many other meds and alternative techniques I have tried to relieve the headaches. I have used them for years without needing to increase the doses. I just received Botox for the migraines; this is also very effective, and has helped me reduce the Percocet use. It’s used for Parkinson’s and Tourette’s and other muscle problems; I wonder if it would be good for FM muscle pain. Don’t know.
I have been on antidepressants for 12 years because the year I went through early menopause (age 46) I became extremely depressed and panicked for the first time in my life. I feel sure this happened because my hormones are messed up due to CFIDS. I also get relief from Soma (muscle relaxer) and Ambien for sleep, which has worked well for me for many years.
I know some people with CFIDS or FM can’t tolerate meds. Some seem to really have issues about it being “bad” to use meds. I really wish I was not on all this stuff but in general my pain and sleep have been greatly improved. Nothing has improved the intense fatigue though. And no, it didn’t get worse when I started the meds.

August 30, 2013 at 9:34 pm
(14) Steve says:

The real torture is the psychological torture of not being believed, and being in the situation where the harder you try to find what is wrong with you and get it fixed, the more you are dismissed as a hypochondriac, no matter how bad your illness gets. Then to lose all your physical social life (as opposed to FB etc), and feel your life wasting away, year on year, while everyone else is carrying on with theirs and leaves you out, because they think you are faking, as the medical profession has poisoned them against you. That is the real torture: the illness itself might be a bit more bearable otherwise.

And, for those of us forced to accept psychiatric ‘treatment’ because we are not allowed to be physically ill, detention in psych units has already been described as torture by a UN raconteur.

August 30, 2013 at 11:01 pm
(15) Melissa Alexander says:

Last Sunday at church I had an instant headache when the singing began. I always have so much pain during the service because of the sitting still and loud music.

August 31, 2013 at 4:23 am
(16) malihe says:

For. Me. The. Daily. Problems. Other. Than. Usual. F.m.s. is. Asthma
That. Is. Caused. By. Cold. Whether. After. Shower. Because. I. Get. Wet
And. No matter. How. Hard. I. Try. To. Dry myself. I. Even. Lay. Down. On. My. Bed. Under. A. Heavy. Comforter. For. Sometimes. An. Hr or
Drinking. Water. From. The. Fridge. Even. Though. Is. Mixed. With. Warm. Water. Or. Walking. Laughing. And. Ac. Or. In. The. Winter. The. Cold. Draft of. Heat. Pump. Makes. Me. Miserable. And. If. I. Have. To. Stay. In. A. Ac. Or. Cold. Area. For. Even. An. Hr. I. Get. Sever. Gastritis.
Which. I. Call. It. Now. That. Begins. With. A. Lot. Of. Gas. And. My. Abdomen. Gets. Feverish. And. Palates. And. My. Heat. Palates. At. The. Same. Time. I. Get. Very. Week. And. Sweat. Profusely. And. It. Takes. Me. 2. Hr,s. to. Get. Warm. That. Includes. My. Whole. Body. As. Well. As. If. I. Am. Buried. In. Ice. Alive. Also. To. The. Lady. With. Tooth
Ache. I. Do. Have. Mayo facial. As. Well. And. Feel. My. Teeth. And. Gum. Hurts. And. Sometimes. My. Gum. Itch. I. Feel. Like. I. Want. To. Pull. My. Teeth. Out. And. Scratch. Them. Also. No. One. Even. In. My. Family. Believes. Me. Or. Now. They. Don’t. Even. Take me. Seriously.
Because. I. Get. So. Confused. And. Forget. Things. All. The. Time. And. Use. Wrong. Words . They. Think. Theses. Are. All. In. My. Head. I. Have. Stopped. Talking. About. It. .and. Tolerated. Now . I. Just. Hope. They. Found. The. Root. Of. The. Illness. And. A. Cure. For. It.
And. If. Some. One. Famous e. has it. To. Come. Forward. To. Make. It. Known. And. People. To. Believe. It.

August 31, 2013 at 4:29 am
(17) Dawn says:

How wonderful it is was to read your comments on torture ! I was in tears reading it ! In agony too ! It’s Saturday morning I’m trying soooo hard to get some housework done and was feeling completely useless because I was letting the pain take over yet again !! So I sat and looked at my emails and yours popped up !!! Thank you for helping me understand that its not my fault !!!’ I was in a department store this week I ordered coffee in the coffee shop and because of the acutstics every time they emptied the used coffee out the noise it made was Unbearable !! I had to leave !!! Even if there’s a child screaming it hurts me so much and I love children ! I know hate going out during school holidays ,
I did think it was me going mad !! But reading you saying it brings tough men to THIER knees makes me feel much better thank you xx

August 31, 2013 at 6:18 am
(18) Bettine says:

I find these comparisons very distasteful. However ill we are, we are in our own beds, we can take meds, we can try and make ourselves a little bit comfortable. I do not think a person under torture has these. Moreover, torture is inflicted by human beings to another human being.

I think this is all rather insulting to people who have undergone torture.

August 31, 2013 at 6:22 am
(19) Debra Keeler says:

This just supports what I have said all along! Thank you so much for posting this! Now I have something my hubby will hopefully say more than “yes, I know how you feel but there’s nothing I can do about it. Or, I already understand Fibro. I don’t need to read anything more about it.”

August 31, 2013 at 8:26 am
(20) Shelly says:

I agree with Rachel, yet everything you said, Lola, up to the point of exercise helping you, was what I battled toward the end of my working career. I ended up having several jobs in a short span of years because my performance would begin to fail and I would quit before I was fired. In the end I only hurt myself more by not understanding disability laws and that I only had 5 years after my last job to file for disability. (I entertained the idea of resting up and returning to work!)
So the torture is physical and emotional, so much lost. Yet I try my best to strive for what I CAN do every day, and remember that I count, even without an income!

August 31, 2013 at 8:55 am
(21) Rachael says:

ME/CFS is like being tortured by your own body, I don’t think most people can even begin to fathom just how ill some of the sickest sufferers feel. There is no escape from the relentless torment from your own body . Anyone can endure severe malaise for a day or two, but when it drags into months and years of endless suffering…it can be unbearable.

These are some quotes indicating how serious ME/CFS is:

“Research has shown that M.E. has been found to be more disabling than MS, heart disease, virtually all types of cancer, patients undergoing chemotherapy or haemodialysis. It is comparable to end-stage AIDS, i.e. to how ill and disabled an AIDS patient is 2 weeks before death.”

“CAN you imagine not sleeping for 48 hours, then running a marathon with a hangover and a dose of flu? That’s how it can feel to have ME.”

READ MOrRE: http://livingwithchronicfatiguesyndrome.wordpress.com/2009/11/16/how-severe-cfs-is/

August 31, 2013 at 10:04 am
(22) Maria says:

It’s interesting, some of the last comments have talked about the awful feelings of loss of self-worth because we can’t make money, loss of identification with what we did for a living, and loss of self-esteem because we can’t answer that question at a party (if we can get to a party):”So what do you do for a living?”

With my husband’s help, it took me YEARS to understand that 1) I am not my job 2) My self-worth is not based on whether I make money or not 3) My self-worth has nothing to do with the work I was trained for or got a degree in.4) I am a valuable human being who has as much right to be here as anyone else. The difficult questions of money and how I spend my time remain, but they are not tied up with self-worth.

I have also found that a lot of us blame ourselves for being sick: “You create your own reality.” “You can make your life anything you want it to be.” “What secondary gain are you getting out of being sick?” This is true cruelty to those who are already suffering from awful health, loss of income, loss of identity, and abandonment by friends. But the points I want to make here are that: 1) Human beings live in fairly vulnerable bodies. Many people get sick. We happened to get sick. We didn’t make it happen. We are completely worthwhile people whether we are sick or well (this leaves out the whole question of ax murderers, okay?). Life is a combination of some effort and a lot of luck..

August 31, 2013 at 10:20 am
(23) Dawn says:

Sorry beetine , not meaning to coarse any upset but I’m speaking from 14yrs of getting worse year on year !!! I’m truly suffering and it does feel like torture !!!!!! So how you can say im insulting to someone else I’ve no idea ?????? My pain is no more less real than anyone else’s !! I feel so sorry for any person that has pain however it happens ! Wouldn’t it be a better world if we all thought the same ?!?!?!
There are so many people that have c,f,s & fibro , that get support from this site because we feel so lost ! !!! Knowing there’s someone out there that truly understands how we feel gets us through the day !!!!
I want to thank adrienne for showing the world that there are thousands of people in every country with these illnesses and showing how difficult it is to get exceptence !! This is our life and it is a hard one to life !! Best wishes x

August 31, 2013 at 2:12 pm
(24) georgia says:

We all suffer differently however, for those who are in pain with nothing corroborating this pain in diagnostics (MRI’s, etc.), consider yourself more fortunate than those who have Fibro along with osteoarthritis and/or other debilitating conditions. The combination is brutal. Supposedly, Fibro is not progressive yet many conditions coexisting with Fibro, such as OA, are.

A proper perspective always helps me & although I have both Fibro & OA, I know it must be far worse to live with MS, advanced cancer, & many other such debilitating, degenerative & possibly life-threatening conditions. The mind is powerful & attitudes & perspectives can be adjusted if one truly tries. The only control I have over this is to take the best of care of myself through good diet, exercise as tolerated, & good attitude. These are the cards we’ve been dealt & we are not left much of an alternative, are we?

August 31, 2013 at 3:35 pm
(25) weeroo says:

Visiting mother and she just finished the I’m tired too, and all of us have pain you just have to work through it speech! That is so hard to hear and have your mother judge you. I am 60…..I think I hear my mom calling…..

September 2, 2013 at 7:09 am
(26) Delia says:

I am 41 and was diagnosed with fibro 2 years ago, well if i read your commends i just say thank you that mine is not so severe. i was a shop aholic could walk for hours in a mall, now it is only 30min walk and it feels like i walked for hours(i think my husband is happy about that) it feels like i have to drag my feet and it just gets worse and have to find a place to just sit and recover or just go home. My husband wanted me to stop working as i get tired very quickly, but i refused as i just felt that i would become depressed and just want to sleep all day. Where i know that i have to get up and put some makeup on and try to make me feel pretty makes me feel happy and does put a smile on my face. i am trying to loose the weight that i have gained with taking Larica in the morning and evening and to loose that also puts a smile on my face. Having a understanding husband and 2 kids that helps me cope with my pain that also puts a smile on my face. Even if i can not do a lot around my house, if i sit and watching tv i try to always make something for others like beading, knitting and giving it to them puts a smile on my face.

September 2, 2013 at 12:18 pm
(27) Anne says:

Thank you for this article! I posted the link on my Facebook page with the following text:

What’s it like to live with severe ME/CFS or fibromyalgia? Like the author of this article, I have often thought of what I’m going through as a prison sentence with torture. I’m homebound and mostly bedbound – there’s the prison. I’m in 24/7 agony, with a lot of pain, a constant severe flu-feeling and almost no energy to even stand up. There’s no minute during the day that I’m comfortable, my body is a war zone with constant firing attacks. That’s got to be called torture.

I realize, though, that real torture is inflicted on you by a fellow human being, and that has to be worse by a long, long way. I feel very humble towards those living through that kind of unimaginable experience.

My torture is only indirectly caused by other people – those in the medical/political/research fields who are not giving ME/CFS proper priority. I hope they will change and use their power to make the torture stop and maybe one day open the door of my prison cell. I so wish to be free.


September 2, 2013 at 2:08 pm
(28) sexie says:

I thank u for all the post. At time I do feel like I am in this all alone. To hear that so many people suffer the same thing is no joke. I got out my car two weeks again like normal. My back hurt me so bad I needed the heating pad. Now two weeks later I was brushing my teeth. The pain returned. It is real n we must be a support group for each other.

September 2, 2013 at 3:26 pm
(29) Carla says:

This is for Lola who smiles. I would smile to if I could get a good workout at the gym and be refreshed by it! Yesterday I washed my car and had to come home and sleep for two hours. Then I slept another eleven hours last nite and today I am a mess! One of the hallmarks of CFS anyhow is inability to recover from exertion! People keep telling me to exercise and build up slowly. Well I have tried that about five hundred times in over twenty years and it never worked.

September 2, 2013 at 8:22 pm
(30) Carol says:

I have had Fibro for quite some years but was diagnosed two years ago. I was prescribed Endep which helps me to sleep. I am on about 15mg. The specialist suggested 25mg but I was reluctant to take any medication.
I do not exercise as this seems to make things worse.
Short walks seem Ok. I work two days a week in an office which keeps my mind active and gives me self worth, I volunteer for a not for profit organisation and sit on their Board. I have just started a degree with Open University studing Art. I have decided that Fibromyalgia is not going to get the better of me. I am lucky I have a supportive family, and a good Doctor, I will push through the achy body, the sore teeth, the constant ring in the ears, the feeling that your blood is boiling, the flare ups of sore joints which make you want to curl up in a ball. I wish all Fibro suffers the strength to carry on with a smile and be an inspiration to others. Now I have had my say its time to rise and shine and face the day. Xxxx

September 8, 2013 at 1:59 am
(31) Bobbi says:

Yesterday at work we had a earthquake drill. We had a short blast of the estremely LOUD siren and the strobe lights, followed by about 10 minutes of the sirens and strobes. Normally in my role I’d be expected to work through the drill but having just arrived for my shift, I was told to take cover so I huddled under my desk with my eyes tightly shut and sunglasses on and my thumbs pressing my ears as tightly shut as possible. After about 10 minutes I said “This is my worst nightmare” and my manager told my shift supervisor to get me out of the building. By the time they’d hauled me out from under my workstation, the siren had stopped.

I didn’t touch my tea that day but that night my nerves were so still so jangled that I couldn’t get sleepy enough to go to bed. I was hyper-alert and more skittish than my cat during his usual midnight crazies. Once I did get to sleep I slept poorly despite my bedtime Klonopin and melatonin and “snoozed” for an hour. I stopped for a caffeinated milkshake on my way to work today but ended up spilling it all over myself from my sunglasses to my shirt, jeans, sandals, purse, lunchbag and the wall and floor. My shoulders, neck and hands are aching and I feel a flare coming on. Misery.

September 23, 2013 at 6:01 am
(32) Starr says:

I’ve had fibro for 12 years. If it helps any, you do learn better ways to deal with it after you get used to the symptoms! At least now I know that I’m not dying from cancer!! And, am very thankful that it is NOT cancer!

October 20, 2013 at 6:11 am
(33) Daria says:

Glad to read all your comments.I guess I’m just realizing I might have Fibro, it hasn’t offiitially been diagnosed but been to countless doctors..It’s been a year with a lot of bizarre symptoms.Dorctors have been looking at me, like “girl- you are crazy”. Then I feel like maybe they are right I’m going crazy, why is this happening to me? (ringing ears, weird nerve sensations, dizzy, muscle twitch, pain, fatigue, depression etc) name a symptoms- I’ve had it. Dorctors tell me you need to “relax, don’t be so stressed” how can I not with all the symptoms I feel Every DAY, I don’t get a days break. I look at people that aren’t sick from this and think ” why me and not you” (some do drugs, or are overweight, or don’t take care of themselves) I’ve been thinking maybe I have MS but at this point I don’t know the difference of the symtoms anymore they sound very similar basically your nerves all messed up.

January 24, 2014 at 11:32 am
(34) Kati says:

I cried a bit after reading this, after googling for the 100th time “I am so tired it is torture”. I have to take adderall everyday just to function normally. The fatigue & tiredness… omg. I try to describe it to people as the feeling you get when you are just coming out of anesthesia but it does not get better.
I feel like the walking dead. And everytime I wake up and have to take that adderall, it reminds me of someone putting paddles to someones heart to jolt them back to life.
I have CFS along with long term chemo side effects, and how do I go on? I have children and I have no choice. Otherwise, this is far too much.

March 21, 2014 at 11:03 am
(35) Anon says:

Although I can recognize your need to write something like this, because we all have the desire to feel understood, I am beyond disturbed you would call this torture. It is unpleasant and some days or most it will cause suffering but these conditions are NOT torture. No one is required to be sympathetic or understand how you feel. I have fibromyalgia myself, along with other physical ailments. I am well aware many feel these conditions do not exist. I have also endured psychological and physical torture for an extended period of time and I assure you they are not remotely close to related. Please remember that although we may be in pain daily and exhausted that things could be much much worse, there is suffering our limited minds are incapable of imagining. Trust me, the devil you know is much better. Also…fast food is horrible and can cause a lot of flares. If any of you have not tried going gluten free, give it a shot. It may not go away but can lessen symptoms to a degree in some. So please, if you are attempting to incite empathy from others or justify your feelings, make sure you truly understand what you are saying so you do not become the unempathetic/unsympathetic person that you are trying to get understanding from. This article comes up when psychological torture is searched. Keep that in mind. No one wants to hear it, but be thankful and smile when it hurts. We are alive.

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