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Adrienne Dellwo

Fibromyalgia's Impact on Relationships

By December 3, 2012

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Research Brief

A new study provides evidence that fibromyalgia not only can have a negative impact on relationships, but does so in a large portion of people with the illness.

In an online survey of more than 6,000 people diagnosed with fibromyalgia:

  • Half of respondents said illness-related damage to their marriage or serious relationship was mild to moderate, or had contributed to a break up;
  • Half said they were unsatisfied with their spouse/partner, at least in part because of severe symptoms in general, or because of the mood disturbance that is frequently a symptom;
  • Fewer than half, but a "substantial minority," said their illness had damaged relationships with their children and close friends as well.

What Can We Do About It?

Many of us have seen these problems first hand. It's hard on everyone when illness - any illness - intrudes on a relationship. It's even harder when some people refuse to accept that our illness is real and we can't produce a blood test or scan to prove it to them.

Adding to the problem is how one day we're quite functional and the next we're balled up on the couch twitching in pain and unable to form a sentence. Some of the people in our lives just can't make sense of it, and a portion of them, quite frankly, don't care enough to try.

In my opinion, all we can do is try to educate the people around us who do care enough. Take your significant other to your doctor's appointments. Show research to the people closest to you. Let them know what's considered "normal" for people with fibromyalgia so they can see that, while your illness may appear bizarre, it's an experience shared by millions of people.

Here's some information to help you get started:

What has fibromyalgia done to your relationships? Have you been able to rebuild them? What has helped you get through some of the difficult times? Leave your comments below!

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Comments
December 3, 2012 at 8:11 am
(1) Kelly says:

I have been divorced 6 times and I’m only 36. The husband that I have now is a lot more understanding. I didn’t know what was wrong with me until this year. I had a symptom here, a symptom there and when the symptoms left I would cancel my appointments. The appointments I did go to, I was always just pacified with anti-depressants and nerve pills. I would end up taking myself of of them because I didn’t think I needed them. Then I would doubt myself and go back to the doctor thinking “maybe it is depression” and “maybe the pains, numbness & speech slurs are all in my head”. Its still a hard thing to understand without proof of tests. I just try to stay home a lot because I don’t want to look stupid when I zone out or mess my words up. Its just very frustrating. It is nice to know that there are more than a handful of people who have the same exact symptoms. Everytime I come upon interesting articles such as this one, I show it to my husband so he can kind of understand. The kids just know that mom needs naps, you can’t play ruff with mom and they never ask me to open packages anymore because most of the time I can’t. I try to rest after I clean house before they get home from school so that I’m not grumpy. I always want to be as pleasant as I can be, because I don’t want this ruining their childhood memories.

December 3, 2012 at 9:08 am
(2) Kelly says:

To add to that…. I was always strong and did everything myself. I was in the service for 6 years, I’ve went to tech schools, colleges, military trainings etc.. I just find all of this hard. I feel like a lazy loser that sometimes can’t even think straight or remember things. The symptoms are a perfect match, but it use to be just a “now and then” kind of thing, now it seems as though its all the time! Even when the specialist my doctor sent me to tested me for Lupus and RA, when she told me her diagnosis I was so happy that I didn’t have RA like my sister! Then she offered to put me on Prozac. I said “I will try it if you think so, but I don’t care for the labeling that goes along with it since most say its a drug for people with mental issues. She then said “well, you shouldn’t be proud or telling anyone about FM either”. I just kind of looked down over at my mom feeling ashamed and crazy. I then went home and did my research because I had no clue what FM was. I did a google search and found a topic in blue saying, “People with Fibromyalgia are crazy!” I was thinking “oh my gosh! I guess that’s what the rheumatologist meant!” I kept finding more and more articles with people that actually have it and listed their symptoms and all kinds of information on it. I started feeling better. I still have the same rheumatologist that hurt my feelings, but hopefully my insurance will let me get a rheumatologist that’s a little nicer and more experienced with FM. I have an appointment coming up next week, its my 4th appointment and I still feel like a second class citizen when she comes in the room because of what she said on my second appointment about FM.

December 3, 2012 at 11:53 am
(3) MK Gilbert says:

Dear Kelly, I’m so sorry you have such a rude, uncaring Dr! I’ve been to so very many over the years, but refuse to return to anyone that treats me condescendingly. It’s just wrong! Don’t have any insurance now, so don’t go in much. I have finally started to accept the hard truth that most people, including family, don’t really want to hear how we are doing~I’m 56 and have had the severe fatigue for 25 yrs…my 4 sons (eldest born when I was 29) have never known me to be healthy/energetic. I try to hide my mood swings, but can’t always. They had a happy childhood despite what they say~I was the best mom I knew how to be and devoted my life to them as I didn’t have the energy to take care of them AND have a career. I did some day care and foster care then started subst teaching when our youngest was in K. I’ve been wanting to start a local support group. So glad I found this online! We need each other, as no one else can really understand us.

December 3, 2012 at 4:39 pm
(4) NJ says:

a “doctor” a long time ago suggested i had FM but she never did any follow-up…i don’t think i have it to this day but i do have other debilitating chronic pain…much of which is arthritis related but the worst of which is from something wrong at the base of my spine…the pain clinic doctor i saw for a year said i have 3 herniated disks at the base of the spine & that back surgery was the only alternative left…i went through many months of treatments but to no avail…i also have degenerative disk disease in the cervical/thoracic spine…& COPD…what makes my life a misery is not being able to tolerate ANY kind of pain medication except tylenol arthritis which causes the least amount of suffering from allergy or sensitivity but believe me, i only take them when i have to because i do pay for it…i also do not tolerate NSAIDs either…my life is, to put it frankly, hell…i carry on, i go to my job everyday & i try very hard to live normally…what is damaging to my marriage of 35 years is that my husband also has chronic pain…so, two of us who struggle daily to be pleasant is difficult at best…some days it feels like a contest to see who has the most pain on a given day…
i would give my eye-teeth to have a real life dr. house who would take the time to figure out what it ALL is…& why it all is & not give up until the mysteries are solved…there is a naturopath who visits here but the costs are prohibitive…

December 3, 2012 at 10:04 pm
(5) Abot Bensussen says:

My husband of 47 years, is my hero. We were partners in business and I always helped him out while raaising our four kids. However after thirty years of fibro, I had to give up working. Even cooking became too much. Now my husband and my kids have to pitch in and take care of the house and of me.

You know that in a long marriage, one’s strengths and weaknessess are truly tested. Lucky for me, husband is a kind and gentle man. I feel guilty too often for letting my family down. However, my children are all adults now, and we are proud of all four of them. While I was healthy I gave my family all my energy and hours. I earned a good living for a decade or so. Now I have to get used to them taking care of me. It hasn’t been easy.

December 6, 2012 at 2:44 am
(6) CindyL says:

I have been suffering for the past 4 years with random pain usually it hits when the rainy season starts. Each year it gets worse and worse where somedays it is hard to walk or coping with the pain would wear me down. I took NICADs and this caused problems with my stomach. To make a long story short my Doctor did not officially diagnose FB as he said it is a collective of symptoms and antidepressants are found to deal with your pain receptors that are messed up and that is why you feel pain more acutely. I did some research and stumbled across leaky gut syndrome. I omitted the gluten, dairy and started with simple single foods like chicken salad, rice no sauces or complicated combinations. I have done a lot of travelling and wondered about parasites and pathogens. I found a product called Diatomacious earth. Basically a cleansing clay you can add to your diet. For the first time in a long time my pain this year is tolerable, no meds, and I have been able to have more consistency to daily living. I have shared this product with others that have joint pain and stomach issues all report back with improvement in one or both areas. Just sharing hope on the journey.

December 6, 2012 at 4:08 pm
(7) Selena Kyle says:

YEP. Some people just can’t handle the stress of being with someone like us who have FMS, or any other chronic illness.
I went through a horrible divorce that was partially due to my FMS.
Now, I’m lucky though, so I guess it worked out.
Now just need a freakin cure.

December 7, 2012 at 7:08 am
(8) Sue Dormer says:

I have a wonderful partner, we got together 33 years ago, we have 3 wonderful boys 18,.20.,24 year olds, and i couldnt ask for a better, more caring family. my man does everything for me when im bad, and my boys will do anything for me, peter is now my full time carer as the fibromyalgia Never leaves me , plus alot of other medical problems, i was diagnosed 16 years ago, and my life has gone from struggling to unable! I hate this life, and if it wasnt for my wonderful family, I Really do not think i would be here now, No one understands this illness, unless your close to it.. my heart goes out to anyone that is struggling alone ,..Good Luck to Everyone xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

December 7, 2012 at 4:17 pm
(9) C says:

This is a topic worthy of discussion. I agree with everything you’ve said. I think any good relationship needs understanding because even if people don’t have these illnesses or issues we all have some sort of issue and we need to be understanding of each other to make any worthwhile relationship work. I find that regardless of the type of relationship, I need good boundaries and a healthy person will understand that.

December 7, 2012 at 4:41 pm
(10) Debbie says:

I was married for 23 years, gave it my all…got sick with Fibro and Chronic Fatigue syndrome 5 years ago. This past June I found out my now ex husband was having an affair under my nose for the past year. Told me he was working overtime and he was actually at the bar with his whore. I’m so much better off. He never supported me financially or emotionally the whole marriage. I did all the cleaning, cooking, lawn mowing, grocery shopping, getting the kid to day care and picking her up, supporting her through high school and college emotionally, physically and monitairly. All I did was take care of everyone but myself and then got burdened with Fibro and Chronic Fatigue. It has stolen my life. I’m happy to be divorced now and maybe I can work on getting better since I don’t have his alcoholic, using self to take care of. Heck he couldn’t even cook a meal for me. It was all about him. But guess what…what goes around comes around and Karma can be really bad to those who take from others and never give in return.

December 7, 2012 at 6:13 pm
(11) Ann W says:

It’s funny I had looked for an actual “study” of this very topic for a long time. It’s amazing to me that people that you thought would be friends for life just can’t seem to understand that sometimes you have to cancel plans on short notice. I can’t work everyday, I wonder why anyone would think that I would always be able to go out or walk around. One time a friend actually said to me, “Well, we’re not going for a few hours yet.” Like I would actually recover from a flare of CFS in a couple of hours. I know that I had explained it to her. I did end the friendship a few years ago, and I am glad that I did. I don’t have time for people that only can be my friend when I am well. Mind you this is a person that I had called friend for over 25 years. It can become a very isolating life, and “friends” and family can disappoint to a degree I didn’t know was possible. On the other hand my husband has been more than wonderful. I cannot say it enough-he really meant his wedding vows. I have in the past offered him a divorce, he woudn’t walk away. How lucky am I????? Take care of yourselves!!!

December 7, 2012 at 6:25 pm
(12) Ann W says:

OOps!!! Fibro Fog got me again. The way that I try to cope and make things better for myself on the impossible days, is just keep on trying to tell myself that tomorrow will be better-sometimes it is and sometimes it’s not. If I don’t hope for a cure, a better day, a better medicine, I don’t know if I would have been able to continue. Again I am so greatful to my husband, he does so much. Happy holidays!!!!

December 7, 2012 at 7:40 pm
(13) Annette says:

I, too ,have had a wonderful husband for 36 years…21 of those years included FMS. I know that I have been blessed. While there is no cure for this horrid illness, I highly recommend D. St. Amand’s Guaifenesin protocol. I was bed-ridden for 10 entire years until I got on this program. I’ve been on it for nearly 12 years now and I have a decent life back. It is a program that is slow in progress, but the pay out was so worth it. Those who are still looking for a wonderful management program can find out about it at http://www.fibromyalgiatreatment.com . The best to all of you.

December 7, 2012 at 10:35 pm
(14) sue smith says:

CFS/Fibromyalgia are diseases that make you feel like you’ve skiied all day with the flue and no sleep. I got CFS in the 80′s and eventually found an understaning doctor and therapist. Family never understood. I started jobs where there was flexibility. I now live in a new area, and for four years have been dealing with the archaic medical system. I finally got disgusted about weight comments and exercise comments from doctors and no answers to my new developing illnesses. I discounted my problems to aging, menopause and cfs. Well, it got to the point of starting from scratch again, thinking it would be years again before I could function normally or steadily again. I was disjointed physically and mentally. I was becoming crippled and couldn’t walk and I couldn’t understand why because of knee issues.

Well, to make a long story short, I went to my fourth doctor in a month and said I need a doctor to understand my body better than I do. Also, my metabolism doesn’t work. I am being treated for hypothyroidism, which was ignored and now very severe and mimicks CFS. I have a severe vitamin d deficiency and had it three years ago and I didn’t know I would need to be on 5000 iu the rest of my life. Now, I have severe osteosporosis. I also had vit b12 neuropathy and my cardiologist didn’t believe me when I said I did and it was causing TIA’s(mini-strokes).Thank Gosh, my new primary doctor listened was someone who finally listened. The cardiologist believed me after I told him I was missing the MTHFR gene (b6, b12, folic acid deficiencies) or the manufacture of amino acids which basically rule the body and mind. I also have a pancreatic insufficiency (with vit d, e, k, a deficiencies). I had started vit e a few days prior so I knew about that one. Antibiotics deplete vit k and that was why I always thought I developed CFS in my 20′s when docs prescribed them like candy.

December 7, 2012 at 10:35 pm
(15) sue says:

(CONT.)
For years I have been taking meds for pain and depression. Now, I am taking the right doses of vitamins every, every day. I am taking a water soluable statin and only the drugs keeping me alive. I’m eating as much as I can now instead of starving myself because my metabolism is fighting back and I can actually feel my ribs again.

I know I will be dealing with repercussions from all of this and I am going to go to a gastrointestinal doc and genecist. I just hope it’s not too late. I’m only 56.

December 8, 2012 at 4:02 am
(16) Lynne says:

My family is so understanding, ha ha. Last summer my oldest brother came to take me to lunch because they thought something was wrong with me! I’ve had FM for 17 years and I got tired of trying to act normal around them, my fiibro fog has been worse and the family thought I had Alzheimers or was on drugs. When he left he proceded to tell me I was dizzy because I was having mini strokes, he knew hiw it felt to have FM and if I took better care of myself and walked around the block I would feel better…At least I chuckled at his ignorance, I still have a sense if humor. Can’t wait for , any advice?

December 8, 2012 at 6:04 am
(17) Lynda K Dokken says:

i have been through a dicorce because my ex-husband refusd to accept any kind of “illness feeling it was more laziness in not being able to do things. Now I am alone at 64 with no real family around me; unable to get out much except on rare occasion; even have my food delivered by small store here. I never dreamed that not only would I ge alone; and no one sure wants a “cripple” to marry! when I try to talk to famioy (most live far away) they decid they are sicker then me and have little chance to really relate. my mother believes that I do not have a right to be on disaility as I don’t have a real disease.

December 8, 2012 at 6:09 am
(18) Lynda K Dokken says:

i have been through a dicorce because my ex-husband refusd to accept any kind of “illness feeling it was more laziness in not being able to do things. Now I am alone at 64 with no real family around me; unable to get out much except on rare occasion; even have my food delivered by small store here. I never dreamed that not only would I ge alone; and no one sure wants a “cripple” to marry! when I try to talk to famioy (most live far away) they decid they are sicker then me and have little chance to really relate. my mother believes that I do not have a right to be on disaility as I don’t have a real disease. I now have FMS and CFS, B-12 deficiency with nerve damage because not caught soon enojgh….and could go on. I am lucky that I have two wonderful kitties that keeps me company. they are wonderful because if I am having bad day and have to go to bed; they go to bed with me and stay pretty quiet. I was extremely healthy early until I started getting sick. It is hard to be alone and not being able to get out to make friends. My older brother who is a doctor told me that all I need to do isi get out and try to work paat-time and just wish I could. I have seen all kinds of doctors and the worse (except have nurse practioner here who is great) is the VA as I am a veteran. sorry if I seem gloomy, it is cold today and still do not feel very good. I am so sorry for all of us who go through life with these diseases and more so because so many do not or do not care to know about what we are going through

December 8, 2012 at 6:26 am
(19) beckie says:

Hi guys, to say fms puts a strain on my marraige is an under statement,im 41 been with my husband since 16,was diognoised at 20 and have 3 children 15,10 and 5 who are all fantastic plus a lively dog lol,even thoe my husband see,s me in pain he thinks im really putting alot of it on ( i wish) for me,i actually think the chronic tiredness is worse ALWAYS unrefreshed sleep! my husband thinks im just lazy,even thoe im up every day to get kids ready for school and do school run in which i walk,even in freezing cold,while husband still in bed as doesnt start til 10,and only works partime,most days do all the normal chores and exhausted after,then only to be moaned at when kids go to bed i want to go to bed 9-9 30,even the normal silly daily things exhaust me,id do anything for a caring partner who even put the rubbish out once a week!
ANYWAY MERRY XMAS TO YOU ALL

December 8, 2012 at 12:54 pm
(20) Maria says:

From the prior comments it sems like most people’s spouses are saints or total cads.

I have been with my husband for 22 years, and been sick (CFIDS) for 16. He has been very understanding and helpful. I can tell though, where things are wearing thin and my limitations are giving him compassion fatigue, and me guilt and depression over “being the cause” of this.

I have done everything I can to help myself get better but the disease is pretty much as erratic as it ever was. Earlier it ruined our sex life through fatigue, medications that killed my sex drive and made me fat, and eventually menopausal symptoms that were so bad I sometimes wanted to die. Testosterone helped restore my sex drive to some degree, but now my husband says he doesn’t have any sex drive, he’s too old, he had to wait too long while I was at my worst, and he absolutely will not go to couples therapy.

He also says he has to keep working and can’t retire because I have not been able to work and we are in debt because of it. I am on SSD — the government thinks I can live on $14,000 a year — but that doesn’t touch our financial needs. I think he actually wants to keep working because he feels praised and well-liked there and has never thought about what he would like to do if he did retire. He loves me but I don’t think he wants be around me that much, both because he’s often on his own at home (I’m in bed), and that’s depressing to both of us.

December 8, 2012 at 1:01 pm
(21) Maria says:

The thing I forgot to say is that, Adrienne, even when a spouse really gets how sick we are and believes it, maybe after awhile they don’t WANT to be around a chronically ill person all the timel My husband says every so often what a happy person I used to be, before menopause (undoubtedly made worse by the hormone disruptions of CFIDS), and now no matter how many antidepressants I take I’m just not like I was.What am I supposed to say to that? I’m sorry I’m not happy, please forgive me?

December 8, 2012 at 1:08 pm
(22) april says:

My heart goes out to all of you who are just trying to figure this horrible syndrome you have. I have suffered with this for over 25 yrs.I am grateful for all of the progress they have made for treating FMS but its sad to say that each treatment works diffrent foe each and every one of us.I was married foe 23yrs and the side affects of the meds totaly made me feel numb. I had a complete 0 sexual desire it was painfull and by the time my husband was interested the day of pain and fatigue had worn on me all day I had no interest at all.I am very lucky to be in a relationship today and for the last 5 yrs he has been so..understanding but even with all his love and support I cant help but wonder if this along with lots of other reasons..all due to my symptoms that we are not married.He has asked me to marry him but no date has ever been made.I am thankful that I do have the support I have from family and friends my advise..they need educated as much as we do..trust them,take them to all doc apps,keep them involved in your life!

December 10, 2012 at 3:36 pm
(23) eaglehaslanded says:

What relationship. ???? My husband hasn’t touched me in over 13 yrs. We’ve been married over 25 yrs. Tells you alot, doesn’t it?!!! He never was the real passionate type…….but, a woman has needs. Even a “sick” one. He doesn’t care. This only adds to the stress & makes me sicker. That doesn’t bother him,either. I’d leave him, but, have nowhere else to go. What a life!!!!! :(

December 16, 2012 at 1:11 pm
(24) Cindy says:

This is a comment for Kelly. Kelly my friend, don’t ever go see that Dr. again. YOU ARE NOT CRAZY! I’m 55 and I’ve had this for 20 years. It is very real my friend. There are good Dr. out there. Keep looking until you find one. It’s the Dr. that has the problem, not you.
I am happy to mentor you in this, I think everyone can use someone with more experience to help them threw. Just leave a message and we can e-mail.
Cindy

December 16, 2012 at 7:03 pm
(25) Reets1 says:

I just read the article from the first to well basically when you lose freinds, my kids laugh and compare me to my 80 year old Mother and the husband, he just replied with “what are YOU going to do about it” and I said I think this is something he and the kids should discuss then he put a pillow over his head. I have had Fybromyalgia for 30 years. Now the knee’s are going and the bloating has put 25 pounds on me. My Rum. Dr. has written me off and I have no doctor that will give me anything but tramadol and that doesn’t work when the pain is really bad. What do you think I should do??

December 17, 2012 at 7:51 pm
(26) nicky says:

hi
i fell sick with fibro in 2008 on my honeymoon to my 2nd husband who i met 3 yrs previous and i could actually ssy i was the happiest id been in years …..then this happened and i got worse snd worse and then we split in 2010 this illness has completely runied my life my marriage my body i hardly have any good days now but i csn say itd a bit easier in the warm weather i have no idea why ? but every winter i just seem to get worse and worse ….i struggle every day ive lost alot of friends …my kids i hsbe 3 they dont understand it at all no matter how much i try to make them underdtsnd they just dont get it at all……i feel very lonely fedup and feel like im just exsiting not living …. i have slwsyd done everything brought 3 children up single handed and now i csnt do hardly anything snd i cant hsndle it snymore
ive really struggled to get things done for christmas and i just feel its just been so difficult and i dint hardly drive snymore prob once a month if that i hsve to rely on someone to tske me to shops or get food ….i dont ask people cos i dont like to be a pain and people was saying just ring i take you then i did start to a couole of times but stooped again as people are to busy .
to be really honest im feeling like i want to just give up now only thing stopping me is leaving my kids but lately my bad thoughts are getting alot stronger and being out of pain is all i want prople prob think im feeling selfish but my pain is chronic and walking is getting harder and im vertually mask on for my children ..

December 17, 2012 at 8:11 pm
(27) nicky says:

my message was longer but could post it as wouldnt let me x i also lost my 9 yr old cat to cancer in august two day after my birthday i had her put to sleep i eas heart broken the two wks today my 7 yr old was found at the end of my lane dead a passer by called me i struggled down the lane to get him and he had been dead a while i was devastated i tried to carry him and i couldnt lift him he was too heavy …..i cant take anymore heart ache or pain or fibro pain i really cant since all this i just feel like i want to give up just existing wish i could go back four yrs and not get married andcmaybe i would have still been how i was i dont know just cant cope andci try so very very hard to cope but itscjust not working

December 29, 2012 at 9:03 am
(28) gflowerfancier says:

Nicky, don’t give up. I have had FM for 20 years. no ne told me u omly have 5 years to qulify for disability or SSI, painwise I have a severe case, but my dr. did believe me, finally some help. tramadol twice a day? I have always been a light sleeper. have had insomnia for 18 of those years. with a 3 month old and a 2 year old, I needed alot of help. I would nurse in the middle chair and rock my little one back to sleep.He never took naps. we never had a date night. My perio dentist had this pamplet in the waiting room, if one person hads periodontist and french kisses the spouse, they will get it so he won’t kiss me. I have to ask for a hug and u can tell he doesn’t really want to do that williingly. one perticular foggt brain day when he could tell I could only remember 2 things not 3, on the third question about groceries, he said by the way, would u mind if I
cheated on u? and would u want to know? I was shocked. he knew how I feltas my father wanted to leave my mom with 5 kids and go off with another woman. They both were at the same insurance convention
in Hawaii. He asked for a divorce and boy did she keep crying really hard for weeks. I try not to.
then when I got my ss info last year it said I had put in 24,000 and my husband said I could use that after he was “gone”. al they did was cut my shift 2 hours a day. well, outpatient charts can be quiet heavy and I had lifted and turned at the same time, injuring my lower back. One muscle in perticular was trying to brace the muscle that got hurt until it healed”They gave me muscle relaxers for 2 weeks and sent me back to work. Long story short. the muscle would never relax and they cut my meds off, I told her I am not asking for $ just meds till it heals so I can keep me job. but no. Then on my eval, my supervisor had put in there that I was like I was on drugs. yes, the ones they gave me’!!

December 31, 2012 at 2:27 am
(29) b says:

There hasn’t been enough scientific research done. suffering everyday…
but theres cymbalta which really help with the pain. u take it after tramadol.
take your vitamins, or eat a bowl of “total” ceareal for breakfast, and carnation instant with dinner”If u really can’t stand it ask for a “Lidoderm patch” I couldn’t havegotten thru the last 2 years without them. especially at thanksgiving and christmas.
hang in there Nicky! My knees and hips have been killing me so I don’t even go to the supermarket anymore. My legs have always hurt more than the rest of my body. Talk to your pain dr. and try and get your
pain med upped and defineatly ask for cymbalta. I don’t know your financial situation, but try to by a hot tub, we got a floor model it’s chaeaper, or a jetted bathtub with a bar to assist u getting out. heat helps!

January 1, 2013 at 3:56 pm
(30) B says:

we havent had sex for 13 years, there is no intimacy at all. he doesn’t
have a romantic bone in his body. he doesn’t love me anymore. now that
I am fat. he said I wouldn’t have married u if u were fat. even dr. Oz says when u have c sections ( which I had to have) they have to cut some muscles so they can pry u open like a grapefruit to get the baby to come out , that those muscles will not shrink back like a rubberband, they were pulled and stretched and cut, so unless u have a tummy tuck u r going to gain a little more fat each year. especially if u r stressed, I was a size 2
now I’m 22 . I feel so ugly, look like I am 9 months pregnant. he feels deceived. I met him dancing and had a pysical job so ofcourse I had a tiny waist,wore my hair down, but the girl who cut my hair moved away, and I wore make up. now I have to wear a bun cause my hair keeps knoting
if I don’t, and make up irritatees my eyes and I am allergic to something n lipstick, but most of them have so many ingredients I just wear vasolinewith 2 boys, theres no rivacy for sex, and I have no sex drive because of antidepressants. what am I suppost to do?.
use to have alot of sex, but we live in a rambler and

January 1, 2013 at 4:20 pm
(31) B says:

I miss the way we use to be. He kept telling me if u just did situps
u would get your body back. Weve had 2 dr.s say that won’t work” And insurance co. won’t o.k. a tummy tuck because I am too sensitive”.I can’t wear anything tight like spanks. Should have had my picture taken when I was thin. now the only way is if I get cancer will I be thinner. I can’t go walking, my knee is too unpredictable and it never stops raining until
Late July around here. Since I haven’t worked in 20 years noone wants to hire me, and without disability Iwe have no $ for our childrens college. they r 18 and 20. Since it is their first job they can ‘t get a job….I miss my best friend, my husband. we never talks anymore to me, but ever scince he got one of those smart phones he sure can talk to someone. he plays poker and at least 2 of them r women. they call him late at night to” play poker”, he knows I don’t believe in gambling. I got acid reflux after sleeping on the livingroom floor for 14 years and had to get an ajustable bed, which has really helped, but my gp wants me to get an opperation, but I have to lose 100 lb. first. she had me go to another dr. about a lap band. no way am I only gonna eat 4 forkfulls of food each meal the rest of my life. even if I lost the weight, I’d just have abig flap of skin everywhere.
My body is ruined, and my marriage is still on because no one of my family will take me in.

June 15, 2013 at 10:01 pm
(32) Nicki says:

I’m so sorry to hear all of your stories. This is such a terrible thing to have. I’ve had in for many years, but what just diagnosed two years ago, since then I have been fortunate enough to find a wonderful doctor in Dallas whom specializes in this (Dr. Kenneth Kippels). He has found that I have quite a few viruses that are impacting my fibro and is actively treating those. I’ve been married for ten years and my husband makes it very clear that he does not believe nor have time for me to be sick. He will not touch me in any sort of romantic way (for almost two years now) and barely speaks to me. He told the marriage counselor that he needs his time after work and after the kids go to bed for himself, not to have to listen to me or worry about spending time with me. It’s quite obvious that I am no longer good enough for him.. I weigh less than 120 pounds (after having two children), but that is too large and I should work out more and tone up and he just shouldn’t have to have a sick wife. I work full time and have a four year old and seven year old and I’m the one that does all the grocery shopping, bill paying, doctor appointments, errands, etc. but that is still not enough. I pass out from trying to do too much… he told the counselor that I should appreciate that “he picks up my ass off the floor” and tell him thank you (and that is all the support he should have to show).
Anyway, I could go on and on… It is nice to know I’m not alone in dealing with this without any support (well, not nice in a way too). Above, someone referenced a way to treat fibro – I wanted to post as link to a follow up to that treatment – http://www.fmnetnews.com/coping-resources/consumer-alerts/product-6
Wishing everyone the best :)

February 18, 2014 at 3:07 pm
(33) Julie Toomeoks says:

My name is Julie, and Ive suffered with FM for 4 yrs, although it most probably is five years, as I became unwell in start of 2010.
I am at a loss to understand this horrible and sometimes unbearable illness, but I am happy to say that my Fiance is fantastic. He doesn’t understand my illness, but has loved and cared enough to go to the FM Support Groups with me.
I didn’t find these very helpful, as Im still very positive and enjoy my hobbies still. And most of the ppl there had given up, whereas I won’t.
Im very proud of myself as not only did I have this illness, but Ive also had a Mini stroke, plus Clinical Depression and Diverticilitis 2. But despite this im now working as a vol Children’s Support Worker for Barnado’s which has given me the much needed confidence to live in a sometimes frightening place, but I promise I will come out smiling

March 13, 2014 at 5:29 pm
(34) Shari says:

I am 66 have had FM and CFIDS since I was in the 6th grade. Friends and family don;t get it or don’t want to and have been seeing a former classmate (4th grade thru 10th grade) for 10 months. He is a retired social worker and is very kind, funny, helpful etc. But he is quite the talker and I am just fried listening to his stories….feels like my poor brain is not protected…likes it constantly gets battered by others words. I really enjoy his company so saying goodbye is not the option I want. Does anyone else deal with this and/or have any solutions?

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