Fibromyalgia and chronic fatigue syndrome take enough away from us - do they have to take our sex lives away, too?
Sure, they're going to slow us down. If it hurts to be touched, exertion makes you worse, and you have no motivation or desire, yeah, sex probably isn't at the top of your list.
On the other hand, I'd say most of us probably want our sex lives to continue on after we get sick. It might not be possible for everyone, but for a lot of us, it's just a matter of figuring out different ways to do it that aren't as hard on us.
With the help of About.com's Guide to Sex, Cory Silverberg, I've put together some information that may help you get sex back into your life:
Have you been able to maintain or get back your sex life? What helped? What obstacles did you have to overcome? Leave your comments below!
Learn more or join the conversation!
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Sex toys can be a wonderful addition to a loving relationship, especially when disability is a factor. Cuddling with your partner while he or she masturbates, using toys on one another when there isn’t enough energy for intercourse, and using sex furniture and positioning aids are all different ways to keep your sex life active. There are many non-sleazy websites that you and your partner can browse together to look for ideas. As long as you are both determined to keep your sex life alive, it is possible to find a way to do it, even if it isn’t the traditional ‘insert tab a into slot b’ method.
With the amount of pain we have, anything that provides pleasure and relaxation is a priority! Different, yes. Harder sometimes, yes. And some meds interfere with our responses a bit. But still….it’s a bit like other areas of our lives: different but doesn’t have to disappear. I think focusing on finding ways to make sex and caring contact happen with some frequency can really help with the stresses and strains the conditions cause in our relationships.
I’m single and not in a relationship anyway but I at least used to have a sex drive. I guess it’s partly menopause (I’m 58). But I’m sure Lyrica has a lot to do with it — I’ve been on the drug for 4 years. Just a warning that this is a possible side effect of the drug.
SEX, I think I remember that from about 20 yrs ago before I got sick and everthing hurt. I think I’ll google it.
Wreaked havoc with my sex life. When it hurts to be handled, where’s the pleasure?
There is also the opposite issue with those of us whose libido is too large to be adequately or timely satisfied when the combination of an excess of time being forced to lie around with needing a natural pain killer conspire to add to suffering.
Lyrica can turn you into a sexual vegetable!
I got sick just a couple of years into my ’sexual peak’ age… I had a monstrous libido that overcame Lexapro, Lyrica, Skelaxin and Ultram… but now, 5 years later, my meds and my illness have cause a hormonal deficiency, and I cant have an orgasm to save my life… My fiance is 10 years older than me with chronic back pain and ED… so sex is pretty rare… I am in the middle of working with my Obgyn to fix my hormone problems (Dear God, Please??); because I am not ready to give up sex OR orgasms!
I am fortunate to have a healthy labido and an understanding partner, but the thing that nearly kills me is the chronic fatigue that I get after climax. We have to plan our sexploits around whatever else I have to do that day or week, as it can knock me out for several days if we have a big night of it together.
LONG TIME SUFFERING, BUT FINALLY DIAGNOSED WITH FMS/CFS WITH A REALLY GREAT SPECIALIST I FOUND ON MY OWN AS FAMILY DR WAS NO HELP AND STILL APPEARS TO BE SCEPTICAL. HE HAD PRESCRIBED & I HAVE TAKEN LYRICA FOR SEVERAL YEARS FOR NEUROPATHY PAIN IN LEGS/FEET (SO CALLED) BUT NEVER KNEW THAT LYRICA COULD BE THE CAUSE OF SEXUAL DYSFUNCTION. I HAD MENTIONED THIS PROBLEM TO THE FAMILY DR. SEVERAL TIMES WITH BASICALLY NO RESPONSE. I WILL BE LOOKING INTO THIS FOR SURE AND DISCUSSING WITH MY FANTASTIC NEW FMS/CFS SPECIALIST AT NEXT CHECKUP & WILL MAYBE DISCONTINUE TAKING IT AS SOME BENEFITS DO NOT OUTWEIGH THE CONSEQUENCES IT SEEMS. WOULD LOVE TO HAVE EVEN SOME SEMBLANCE OF MY FORMER LIBIDO / SEX LIFE. AS A 58 YR OLD FEMALE, I HAD ALWAYS READ/HEARD THAT THESE YEARS SHOUD BE THE BEST AND NOT THE DESERT I HAVE BEEN EXPERIENCING. GOOD BYE LYRICA! I’LL TAKE A LITTLE MORE PAIN IF I CAN GET EVEN A BIT OF PLEASURE.
I still have a decent sex drive but haven’t been able to achieve orgasm in 4 yrs. I really miss it and have tried to find it again but to no avail. Could it be my meds? I’m on Savella, Cymbalta, Flexeril, Xanax, Trazadone, Kadian and Percocet. I also take Niacin and Zinc which are supposed to help with sex. What is the problem with me? Is there anthing I can do to get the big O back?
Yes, yes, yes!!
Thank you for having this dicussion..finally I know it’s not just me and I’m not alone. Fibro has all but destroyed my sex life. When my husband met me 7 years ago, I was a totally different person. I would be the “Starter” now I’m not even there for the “Ending”. I feel like sometimes, I’m just laying there doing my duty, although it is very painful. I have to endure the severe pain allot because my husband is very affectionate towards me and says, he does not feel gratification with just holding. But, for the last 6 months he has been purchasing different oil enhancers for the both of us, trying to at least stimulate me into having a desire. I feel so bad about not being the fiery person he used to know. And yes, like the other person who wrote, I also, after reaching climax become deathly weak, tired, sick, sore,and wish I just said no “SAD”.
Sibegirl, yes, medications do interfere with being able to have orgasm. I’ve noticed that many lists of side effects refer to only male problems with sex, but females are also affected. You could try having sex before taking meds or before they have had time to kick in or 12 or more hours after taking them. Check for side effects of each that you take, and try discussing these issues with your doctor. Here’s hoping for improvement for you!
Pat