Life is stressful, and that goes for everyone, healthy or not. When you have a chronic illness like fibromyalgia or chronic fatigue syndrome, it can be a whole lot more stressful.
Losing your health is stressful and frightening all by itself. Sometimes illness can mean fighting to keep your job, cutting your hours, getting fired or quitting. That can lead to financial problems, as can the cost of treatment.
Then there's dealing with doctors' offices and insurance companies. That's never fun.
And then there's the toll on your relationships. Chronic illness is hard on everyone around you, and it can do a lot of damage - all of which leads to more stress.
Meanwhile, our bodies can't deal with stress at all. It sends our symptoms through the roof, which means it also exacerbates the very situations which cause us stress.
So what can we do to end this cycle? We have to eliminate stress what stress we can, and manage what stress we can't eliminate. That's easier said than done, but it is possible.
To help you with this, I've gone to an expert. My About.com colleague, Stress Management Guide Elizabeth Scott, has been helping people with stress for years and has a wealth of resources available on her site. I've compiled the ones I think will be most useful to you here:
What kinds of stress are you dealing with? What impact is it having? Have you found ways to manage stress and improve your health? Leave your comments below!
Learn more or join the conversation!
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This is something that I’m really struggling with at the moment. I would love to have a fast forward button, so that I could see how it all turns out. Dealing with my insurance co is more stressful than working, but I’m not physically capable of working. They seem to do everything that they can to delay payments or make life more difficult, and now my husbands boss (who is a family member) is performance managing him because he has had some time off to look after our two small children on days that I haven’t been able to. Thanks for looking at this issue. Very helpful.
Marriage. I have been married for 33 years and together with my husband for 36 years. I have been living with chronic pain since my daughter was 9 months old, she is now 32 years old. I am not the woman i used to be. Every year brings a new challenge. My brain chemicals are in such a state that the doctors are not sure what to do. I am on a mood stabilizer and that has been a tremendous help. I havrecently been diagnosed bi-polar 2. No one seems to understand, my children think I am looking for attention. The brain can only take so much. I cannot sleep. I am exhausted but sleep does not come, unless I take something to help me. I have tried to establish a sleep pattern again without taking and meds to help me sleep and it does not change. My husband and I have been discussing if we should stay together or not. I have not been easy to live with, who is that has chronic pain. I feel he would have a better quality of life if I am not in it. It is a scary feeling when you have plans for your life and you are not able to make them happen. Newly married and having children right away, I look forward to the day that the children would be grown and my husband and I would be able to travel at the drop of a dime. Oh well, that is not the directions that our lives have taken. For me the depression has been totally debilitating. Living in Oregon with the rain, dampness and gray skies has not helped. Thank God I have a friend in Southern CA, that I can visit at anytime and soak in the warmth of the sun. I do not know the path my life will be taken. I don’t think any of us know. I do know I have today and for today I will do the best that I can. I will look for the blessings and I will talk with people that love and support me. MOTTO: Make it a great day!!
Just about everything you have said I could have written myself except for my husband leaving he would never do that and although he knows and basically understand my illness there are times (like my post on the Fibro 360 on FB today) where he thinks I blame everything on the Fibro – Fibro is also a virus and studies show it is distroying our grey brain matter which is why we forget everything become confused and make all kinds of mistakes. I too have once felt that If I left my husband will havethe chance for a better life and sometimes I want to just run away and live all by myself (with this illness we have all felt alone anyway) so I do not have to constantly feel like a failure..We all have lost our lives – we are not the people we once were. I was healthy and stronger than most people – I am a legend in the hip hop world I used to break dance and lift & spin 2 men in the air – no I am not a big girl I was 5′7 125lbs of pure muscle which is why I have more muscle knots all over my entire body- the more muscle the more knots – I am being honored soon with an award and I am mortified for people to see what I have become.. my story is long and similar to most of ours but different because it is mine but we all suffer greatly and we must cut those people out of our lives that cause us stress everytime we speak to them…friends go away because they are tired of hearing we don’t feel good & we can’t go out all of the time – this is a miserable illness in so many ways. we at least have these sites to talk to people who understand – Good Luck to you…..
Hey!!! Congrats on your award. Forget about what people might think. Enjoy your deserved honor. I did some dancing few years ago (although not the same as yours) and I will always remember that feeling, moving our body and soul at the same time, being in a stage…all that. I totally identify with all you are saying. So if anything can make you smile a little, remember you are not alone. If you have the opportunity on your next award ceremony, be an advocate for all of us. Good luck to you too, and take care!
I am a Mum of six. Recently I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia/chronic fatigue and I have now lost my children who have gone into care. This has been a nightmare and all the stresses invloved with social workers have at times, only served to exacerbate my symptoms. I have found no understanding of my condition. i have been made to feel like a criminal. I have to hjave ’supervised contact’ with my children. This is heart-breaking. I am not even allowed to attend ones of my childrens birthday parties tomorrow at his Grannys, even though there will be other adults there to ’supervise’, including their Dad. Heart-broken Mu.m
Carolyn, how awful that your children were taken from you! I am so sorry. And they were taken just because of the fibro? My heart is heavy for you. How can the “powers that be” justify this outrage?
I find since having CFS and don’t enjoy things the same. Its not that I’m depressed its just I don’t find pleasure in doing the same things. It feels like the endorphin’s have been turned down and the stress hormone’s have been turned up in my brain.
I am the sandwich generation. My parents are getting older (my Father just died a few months ago). My Step Mother has cancer and has a few months to live. My Mother is dealing with major financial issues due to having to put my Step Father in a nursing home with dementia. My Mother is extremely needy right now. I spend at least 3 or 4 days a week at her house helping with things, or taking to her on the phone. And I have a 14 year old.I am the care taker, because I’m not working. What people seem to forget is that I’m not working because I’m sick.
It’s just a little stressful.
There is is much more, not enough time.
Thanks, Adrienne, for attacking another excellent topic. I was (illegally) terminated from my job 16 months ago; I’m still unemployed. While I did receive a small settlement, it’s gone now, and unemployment isn’t enough to pay the rent, car, utilities, car insurance, prescriptions, and buy food. I’m single with no human kids, so I don’t qualify for any assistance. Lost my health insurance when I lost my job. As the savings as dwindled, the stress has increased and so has the pain level, beyond what is now manageable with my meds.
If I don’t find a job by the end of November, I’ll be homeless, along with my three cats, two rats, and one rabbit. I have no family to help me, and to be honest, I’m absolutely, utterly terrified. The stress is beyond anything I’ve ever encountered, and I’ve been through a lot in the past four years (near-death health situation requiring emergency surgery; unexpected divorce; diagnosis with fibro; migraine-induced TIA; losing my job of 6 years and subsequent legal battle; domestic violence situation with relationship after divorce) — I consider myself pretty tough; in fact, I’ve never actually told anyone all of this stuff, and it looks pretty sad-sack-pathetic just writing it out here! Good grief!
But, like I was saying, what I’m dealing with right now — this stress — is causing the fibro pain to just go *off the charts*, and I’m only able to get it to a tolerable level with meds at this point. It’s leaving me almost unable to function, which scares/stresses me even more — how am I supposed to WORK when I can barely MOVE? YIKES!!! It’s like an endless circle . . . Sorry to whine so much; please forgive me . . . it’s all just so frustrating and scary, you know? I do my best to keep a positive attitude, but at times, it’s just overwhelming.
I’m just wondering if you have tried disability?
I’m considering filing for it, but it seems like . . . giving in . . . somehow. Do you know what I mean? And I’d *like* to think that I could still work, at least part-tiime, if I could work from home (I’m a writer). But finding *any* kind of job right now is so difficult, as so many people know, that I feel like I have to take anything I can get, if I ever get anything. Still, as I said, I *am* considering at least starting the process of filing for disability. Do you have any advice about it?
Yes, big issue. I find the unnecessary stress from dealing with disability benefits and professionals is the worst. These stressors really shouldn’t exist and it’s unfortunately the places we should find solace are many times the most stressful to deal with. This and the lack of understanding and misnomers by others in our communities. I take my ipod with comforting music with me when i go to appointments or shopping and this can help. I also prepare myself as much as possible with a good list, comfortable clothes, comfortable shoes, puzzles, etc. Whatever makes my time out more manageable. It’s also good to come home and have someone we can chat with after a difficult day. The more i take care of myself properly the less resentful and frustrated I become with my environment.
I always wake up feeling awful. Terrible lethargy and the pains are everywhere, my morning headache is the worst. I wake in the night with painful pins and needles in my hands and wrists that stops me being able to open my hands. I also have degenerative disc disease and iron deficiency anaemia so one of them causes a problem they all kick off. I’m only 38 and Fibromyalgia has bein ruining every aspects of my life for over 10years. My feet have shrank 2 sizes to, is this a symptom? I have a lot of foot pains and cramps. Also lost a stone in weight but not dropped a clothes size, is this because my muscles are shrinking?? I used to be a runner and fitness freak n now I can barely walk on a bad day. I do keep busy and refuse to let it grab a hold of me but it’s very hard. I sympathise with u guys.