Have you ever been too sick to go to the doctor? It might sound strange to a healthy person, but those of us with fibromyalgia and chronic fatigue syndrome can either imagine it or have been in exactly that situation.
I've had to cancel a doctor's appointment, one or two physical therapy sessions and - worst of all - a massage because my symptoms were too severe for me to drive there. Several other times, I would have missed appointments if my husband hadn't been available to take me.
Missing appointments can cause several problems.
- You might not be able to get prescription refills;
- You might have to wait a long time to have problems addressed;
- You may be charged for appointments canceled on short notice;
- Repeated no-shows or cancellations may cause your doctor to "fire" you.
I recently got an email about this last item:
"Two weeks ago, I got sick at night, was up half of the night, and was totally exhausted the next day.... I had a Doctor's appointment, which I slept through, and called to cancel it about 30 minutes after I was supposed to be there. Even if I had not slept past the time I should have been up, I would not have been able to drive 20 minutes for my appointment. I was just so exhausted.
This week, I get a form letter from my Doctor's practice, saying that if I miss anymore appointments they will drop me as a patient. I am sure that the HMO that is part of this practice is more concerned as to how much money the practice makes instead of their patients' health.
I am appalled and feel that as a person with a disability, chronic fatigue syndrome, that a practice can act this way towards a person who struggles sometimes on a daily basis to have energy to do "normal" things." ~Karen
She's exactly right - it seems really unfair and uncaring to penalize someone for being too sick to keep an appointment, but it's a reality of modern health care.
So what can you do if you're faced with being unable to make your appointments? Several options come to mind:
- Avoid scheduling appointments right after major events or busy times;
- Try to schedule them during times of day when you generally feel best;
- Schedule them for times when someone is available to take you;
- Look into local services that help people get to medical appointments;
- If you do call to cancel, do it as early as possible and make sure to let them why.
Our illnesses are unpredictable and at times we may not be able to figure out any alternatives, but if you plan carefully and know what options are available you'll be in that situation less often.
Have you had to miss medical appointments because of your illness? Has your doctor's office given you a hard time because of it? How do you make sure you can get there? Leave your comments below!
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I missed a slough of doctor’s appointments after I was first diagnosed. I would simply forget that they were scheduled – fibro fog. I just can’t remember things like I used to! My doctor ALMOST fired me, too. I could understand though because I honestly probably missed 7-8 appointments.
Since retirement, keeping appointments has been my my major cause of stress. Often I am not alert enough to drive, and of course I won’t know that in advance. So far, I have not missed appointments because one or another friend could come to my aid, and now I am old enough to use a local transportation service for seniors. I haven’t tried it yet but am relieved to know it exists. It is also stressful to show up for an appointment with my formerly sharp mind shrouded in fog.
Missing appointments is the story of my life; I can’t count the number of times I’ve had to call to cancel my doctors’ appointments or to reschedule. Recently I’ve been so ill that I’ve been asking my doctors to allow me phone appointments when nothing has to be examined. They have been great about it perhaps because I’ve been going to them for years.
When an appointment is out of my driving comfort range, I arrange a ride in advance. This doesn’t mean I can go for sure but it helps. I try to determine the likelihood based on my condition the night before and leave a cancellation message on their machine to find the day of the appointment.
What has also been a problem for me is trying to figure out which specialist appointment is most urgent to deal with first. Is it my sinus infection, my gastrointestinal problem or my dental pain? I try to prioritize them cause I know I can’t handle multiple appointments at the same time. Or multiple treatments at the same time. I am deaf in one ear because I put off going to the doctor until I found blood on the pillow; I was just too wasted to go sooner.
If a doctor who knows about my condition can’t be flexible, then I need to fire them. I don’t need the stress of dealing with their disapproval or their consequences. But I do the best I can to be considerate of them and keep appointments if I possibly can.
I delt with the stress of this all my life. I think that as long as you try to cancel as soon as you can they should be able to understand since you are in their services because you are sick chronically they should be understanding. Sometimes you can’t help but miss appointments especially when you have chronic conditions. I don’t think you should be punished for something that is beyond your control. I have given up on doctors and become depressed because of they way they treat me so in my opinion they are contributing to your illness and not helping in anyway. I suffer from depression and not having an understanding medical professional just adds to the stress.
My rheumatologist’s made it clear from the beginning that too many missed appointments will result in them terminating you.
It’s not because of insurance or money, it’s because he’s an excellent doctor with a waiting list.
When you miss, especially with out notice, you deprive someone else who also needs care to access.
Not trying to be harsh, but it took me 6 months to get in.
There’s 2 sides….
Even though it is hard to move and get around when we’re feeling so bad, do as much as you can to make your appointments. Our doctors need to see us at our worst, looking our worst, the way our families see us, to be able to understand just HOW sick we are. If we wait to go in when we’re feeling better, they don’t know we’re sick. They make notes in your file about how you ‘PRESENT’ that day. It’s important to have this noted in your file that you presented that day looking like the tire marks are still fresh from the truck that just ran you over.
Thank you for this article. I miss appointments all the time because I’m too sick to get there. At least I know that I’m not alone.
I have a triple whammy. I have M S, CFS, and some kind of arthritis, not to mention 1 dr still tells me I have fibro. A month ago I had to reschedule a neuro appt. that I was already 10 mins. late for. Thankfully, They rescheduled it for me to a day when I had to go in for my next Tysabri infusion so the Dr. could come in and chat w/me while my infusion was going on at and they didn’t charge me for the missed appt. My neuro knows my battle w/the fatigue and there have been many days/ weeks that I can’t even get out of bed. She has seen me go from 150 lbs down to 120 lbs in a month because I was too exhausted to get out of bed to make myself something to eat. She has tried prescribing me everything from ADHD meds to narcolepsy meds. She was hoping the Tysabri would help. Over the counter Stackers/ Black Jacks help some, but not everyone can take them. I can’t even take them often cause I suffer from chronic migraines as well. I refuse to drive when I’m even a little tired.My hubby works full time. I rarely have a driver so I have to make due. I have 2 children who’s Dr. appts I have to keep up with as well, and a pain Dr. that I have to see monthly. I have only rescheduled that one twice in 3 years. Both were at least 48 hrs in advance. I am so thankful for my team of doctors. All of my Dr.s are understanding…but my neuro is the most understanding. However, I really do understand the the Dr.s side of things, especially w/ habitual ppl or no shows. There are ppl who could have really used the appts that the habitual person missed. If that person would have called in, even a few hours earlier, another patient could have been seen really needed help. I wanted the kindness of my neurologist. It sure took me long enough to find her!
that next to last sentence was supposed to read ” I really wanted to share the kindness of my neurologist!” I had to do a whole lot of editing because you can’t put more than 2000 characters in the box and evidently I was writing a book. lol!
I am with the rest of you! It’s so nice to know there are people out there who understand. My husband gets frustrated with me because I take it right to the minute just so I get enough energy to even get ready to even go so he can drive me to some of my doctor appointments. There has been many times where I haven’t slept, sometimes a couple of days and just can’t make it, so I pick up the phone as I realize I just can’t make especially if I have to drive myself. I think the worst was it wasn’t a drs. appt. but my daughter’s graduation! I felt just terrible I missed it due the fibro and she of course was very upset but what can you do. lol!
I know this is off topic and I apologize, but I am currently trying to cope with another flare-up. At the doctors today he decided to add Savella to my current list of medications (in addition to pulling me out of work again) and I just wanted to see if anyone has any information to share on this drug. Any help would be greatly appreciated.
PS…I live in upstate NY and the rapid change in temperatures and the damp, cold weather, as well as less than favorable working conditions due to the recent flooding have pushed me right over the edge
Firstly, we all react differently to meds. My experience with Savella was not good. My blood pressure which is usually normal to low went way up. It made me feel jittery & interfered with sleep. Initially, it made me feel nauseus but I did overcome that after being on it for a few weeks. I gave it a couple of months & then quit. You can find many testimonials online as well.
I usually make appts late morning or early afternoon when I am more awake. If I have a good day I call and make an appt so that I keep up my doctor visits. I ask if there is a cancellation to call me if there are no appts that day. It is a shuffle so sometimes I can see a chiropractor the same day as another doctor if I am feeling well so I do not have to go out as many times. I hope this helps others. Writing appts on calendars does not mean I will always look at it and remember I need too. Doctor offices do not understand this about fibro fog but with all of the recent news some are. My PCP actually asked me what fibro fog feels like. I told her it feel like your reactions are slow and I never drive like that. She agreed that I should not.
Reading this article nearly made me cry just thinking about the consequences I have had from missing appointments. I have missed appointments several times because I simply could not get my body there due to extreme fatigue and/or pain. One doctor started charging me for missed appointments. Another doctor made me start paying in advance. The receptionist at my dentist office didn’t believe me…
Actually I look at it this way, if I have a bad cold and feel terrible then that is the time I want to see the doctor. If I only see my fibro doctors when I am feeling good then they definitely do not know how bad it gets for me. The only reason I might consider missing an appointment is because I consider myself unable to drive and then I try like heck to get some family or friends to take me. That also goes a long way to convince them I AM really ill.
Well said Nitalynn. I agree we need to make our appointments otherwise it adds to the theory that there is really nothing wrong and that it is ‘not real’. I had my doctor call for someone to drive me home when I have felt terrible and gone by taxi, as he didn’t want me walking unattended. But my doctor never questions anything I say or suggest as he has seen me in this state on several occassions. Certainly makes it easier for the doctor to deal with disability insurance as well.
I’m afraid I’m somewhat of a skeptic and if someone called and said they were too sick to come in then question marks would be forming in my head. I have missed other appointments because my symptoms have been too severe, but I believe that seeing your doctor at your worst is the best for the doctor to determine treatment. Nothing like seeing is believing….
When I am feeling really ill, those are the times I want to go to the doctor instead of cancelling them. I want my Doctor to see how this illness is effecting me. Two months ago I couldn’t even dress myself, but with the help of my husband I made it to my appt. Dr. K was really happy that I came in so she could evaluate my condition. So if you can possible get to your doctor, do it so doctor can see the suffering you go through.
My worst problem is with physical therapy and sometimes I get the times mixed up, especially when the appointments are at different times each day. If I have fibrofog this can also be a problem. When I was living in New York a year or two ago I messed up on the first 3 or 4 appointments and the hair stylist was amazingly understanding. (I know that’s not a medical appointment, though.)
Otherwise, I generally have great will power and can somehow make it no matter how I feel. The worst was last fall when I had horrible neck stenosis (spinal growth into the spinal cavity) and could only stay upright for an hour or so without having the pain just overtake me, so I ended out raising a ruckus a couple times because I had to lay down in the waiting room.
Some of my doctors are in the neighboring county, so getting there is the most problematic if I’m really doing badly. For anything in my county I can use the local handicapped transit group taxi system (provided I call a day ahead of time). But if I’m really feeling that badly, the extra commute time can make it difficult for me, so I might drive when I really shouldn’t just to make the whole ordeal go faster (assuming I don’t have an accident in the process, which fortunately I haven’t so far).
I can have really resolve that helps in many situations, but sometimes I end out doing something that might otherwise be inadvisable and even make my health worse. If I’m really feeling badly it can be like my body is taking me there (to the appointment), but I’m only there in body because I feel so crummy – maybe like a robot just doing what it’s supposed to do. So I go in robot mode.
When you are preparing to drag yourself to the doctor through the pain and the fog, try not to wear your “best” color. Once, when I was terribly ill, I put on a blouse that normally (but not that day) made me smile. Three or four people in the doctor’s office, including my doctor, commented that “You sure look good in that color.” I kept saying, “But I’m SICK!!!” I now make it a habit to never wear something that makes me look good if I want a medical professional to take me seriously.
I am a disabled veteran and I miss many appts due to my Fibro and other things (PTSD, RA). None of my healthcare is really ‘local’ because I am treated through the VA. Therefore, I have to drive a really long way to get to them as well.
When I see my Doctor, she is so caring and wonderful. Yet, if I miss an appt, I end up with these emails or letters saying that I better not do that anymore. It’s like a kick in the stomach. It depresses me badly, which doesn’t help anyone.
If it wasn’t for my husband, I would never make it to an appt. I am thankful for him, but even he cannot make me well enough to go, if I feel too bad.
This is quite the dilemma, especially with the VA.