The human brain is a complicated thing that often works against us, especially in neurological conditions like fibromyalgia and chronic fatigue syndrome.
One way it can cause problems for us is by associating memories with physiological and emotional reactions, then making us re-live those emotions when the memory is triggered. My brain did this to me recently when I walked into a particular grocery store. I know -- grocery shopping is often a nightmare for us, but this reaction was particularly strong and took me by surprise.
You see, a few years ago, I stopped by an unfamiliar grocery store because it was on my way somewhere. It just so happened that the store was having a massive 1-day cereal sale, and the place was crowded practically elbow-to-elbow. That, on top of not knowing my way around, quickly lead to a panic attack so bad that I almost turned and ran out! Once I grabbed what I needed and made it through the express lane, I went out to my car and spent a good 15 minutes recovering before I could drive. It was awful.
That was before I was on a gluten-free diet. Now, I shop there all the time because they have the best selection of foods that I can eat. The place itself hasn't had a negative impact on me -- at least, it hadn't until the other day. Also, I've gotten much better in crowds and usually don't even have to take my anti-anxiety supplements to spend time in them.
But wouldn't you know it, I was there the other day and noticed that it was especially crowded, but I didn't think anything of it. Then, after I got inside, I saw signs up for a 1-day cereal sale and the memories of that old experience came flooding back. My heart started to race, my breath became shallow, I got dizzy, and I wanted to get out of there as fast as possible. I ducked into a quiet-ish aisle and pretended to read the ingredients on some random box of something while I took deep breaths and mentally talked myself down. Fortunately, I got myself under control and was able to do my shopping.
I've had other memory-triggered reactions, but this was one of the strongest and took me most by surprise because of how long it had been and how comfortable I usually am in the environment. I know I have a learned aversion to cooking based on the anxiety it used to cause, and that's something I have to confront on a daily basis, trying to re-train my brain to see it as a non-scary activity.
Brain research shows that strong emotions cause events to be more firmly embedded in our memories, so when we have an extreme reaction like a panic attack, it makes for a powerful memory. I'm having some luck with simple techniques for when I run into memory-triggered emotions:
- Deep breathing, to slow and hopefully stop the fight-or-flight reaction.
- Positive messages, such as, "You're safe, you're OK, you can get through this." (It may sound silly, but it works!)
- Easing back into a situation when possible. For example, cooking only simple, familiar meals to keep from reinforcing the negative memory.
If you can't get past these kinds of memory triggers, you might want to get help from a mental-health professional. We're limited enough by our other symptoms -- we can't allow our own memories to limit us further.
Have you had powerful reactions to triggered memories? Have they prevented you from doing something or made you avoid a particular place or activity? Have you been able to move past it? Leave your comments below!
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I’m totally with you on the cooking! It freaks me out on a regular basis. I have at least 20 cook books but I always approach it with fear and trepidation.
As for memories triggering flares…you betcha! It’s worries for me. I start worrying about something and everything kind of seizes up. It sucks. I need to get control of my brain!
Thanks for writing this, Adrienne!
Interesting piece, thanks for writing it! I too have issues with cooking, and have needed to cook only a few easy meals, just to be able to get through it.
Now regarding memory triggers: This is something I have often thought about, wpndering if it’s possible. I seem to get flare ups and bad health days when I’m busy, and realize how swamped I am. It’s as if this knowledge puts my body in ‘energy saver’ mode or something. Drives me insane. Sometimes I get so overwhelmed, I end up displaying almost narcoleptic symptoms and fall asleep randomly.
Bethany, I do the same thing when I’m very busy or realize everything that I need to accomplish in a short amount of time. I ALWAYS get a cold, or some type of infection and a flare. (I have IC, but it is a ‘’sister disease”.) I also get EXTREMELY tired and feel like I’m going to pass out to sleep. And if I lie down, I do, when normally, I have a very hard time falling asleep.
I have had similar experiences. About 20 years ago while in a grocery store I stopped my cart, left it there and walked out. I did the same thing while Christmas shopping that same year. For quite a long time I was afraid to go to big markets and went to small corner stores to get what I needed. I did and sometimes still go to a therapist to figure things out. I haven’t had a panic attack in several years, having been able to stop and talk myself out of it before carrying on. I didn’t realize that it was FM & CF related. I learn something new here once in a while and I am so grateful to have found this site.
Well the cooking gene was never passed on, so I don’t sweat it. It helps being a vegetarian/vegan too. My husband is the cook in our family because he likes doing it.
So true about memories. There is definitely a mind-body communication there.
I will not get into my memories, but I have issues with smells, lighting, and certain visuals that trigger unpleasant memories. Sometimes, I am not even aware of the triggers until later. I’ll realize that I am more anxious and foggy headed than normal, for someone having Fibromyalgia. I then have to recap, and try to figure out what caused the issues. Memories are precious, but the bad memories can cause such long lingering effects. Coming to terms with the memories that have caused you problems help, but memories don’t go away. I’ve just learned to face them, accept that they are going to always effect me, but don’t allow the effects to control me. If they do overwhelm me I don’t beat myself up, because that would be counterproductive. I just keep trying, because I believe we are all here on this earth to try and be the best we can be. Some of us have bigger challenges than others. Some people may consider that the big challenges that they face are smaller than someone else’s, but you are not them and they are not you. Our minds and bodies are all individual and unique. We all feel things differently, more intensely, less intensely. We just have to do the best we can.
Sorry, I kinda went off the subject a bit.
i think part of the problem too w shops is that we’re faced w a lot of choice (range of tuna for example!) on top of the public place anxiety – in which case if it gets too much, i also just leave! hasn’t haopened for a long time. i would just breathe deeply and allow myself to be agitated somewhere in private and it would just quickly pass – a minute?
wouldn’t it be great if we could do this in public, or allow others to melt down safely in public, without batting an eyelid, because it’s part of the healing process of long-time wounds. i’ve gotten a lot of relief from allowing panic to just show itself and be heard…
a lot of my exhaustion and inflammation – or all of it – is based on unresolved hurts which are now showing up, and it’s been a healing thing to address them and not whitewash over them.
I know I can get foggy headed and that I can get panic attacks. Yes, visuals, smells, sounds, all sensory things can trigger problems. But I know that and I simply will not let it govern my behaviour. Some of my memories are doozies and certain things just set off a train of things. I decided long before found out I had Fibro that I simply was not going to let those things show. I have been in a store at Christmas and dearly wanted to run out – even several times just last year. I consider it part of Christmas now. Shop in a Mall, get panic. It is hard. Therapy did not help. So, I simply stand still, let the panic run through me, take a deep breath and realize that where the panic came over around and through me, when it was gone, only I remained. I, the essential me, remained. The panic, the fog, the other nasty effects of Fibro (including the fatigue) are part of what happens to my body. I do allow for them. I am gentler on myself. But they are symptoms, not me and so I can treat them as temporary intruders. I know they happen and take care to accept they do have to be dealt with. But they, do not run my life, I do. I do it slower. I do it more carefully but I still do it. If the job needs done. I find a way. Of course what works (after 30+ years of coping with my illness for me) – may not in others. My kids used to say, “She does it anyway!”. Truth is, at 60, yes, I do. I just do it anyway. I am not un-sympathetic. I care that others hurt so much because I am there. I just ‘remain’ after what ever it is this illness does its thing.
Thanks for your post. I, too, have dealt with this for a long time. (25+ years). Some of my abilities are gone, not to return, then there’s the symptoms that come and go. I handle it like you’ve posted: I go slower, I let it pass and go on. Sometimes I’m sidelined for quite a while, but I’ve developed other VERY low-key activities until the flare subsides. There’s still a lot of beauty in life even if it’s just petting my dog!
I have been in a fibro flare for the last two weeks since I made a mistake on the banking machine and thought I had screwed up my finances for the month , got all panicky, couldn’t think on how to fix my mistake …. my reaction was way over the top , I realised later that it brought back many years of financial hardship when I sat many nights going over my bills and wondering what to do . I realised then that memories bring on a flare for me yet I am powerless to stop it from happening , this article is quite the coincidence as I just came to this realisation a short while ago , I have many bad memories so are they what’s keeping me in pain, food for thought !
I had a difficult childhood with my father. To write that it was unpleasant would be an understatement. Being around my father brings back too many bad flashbacks. A few years ago I was around him a two hours- oh, the memories. I awoke the next day with the Shingles.
I find that certain things will remind me of something and set off a panic attack. Emotional triggers are very rough for me. I wear my heart on my sleeve as it is, and am very sensitive to another persons pain. And music… ccan send me into a funk due to recollections of past events, or remembered pain… then it REALLY hits. The only thing that seems to help is taking to someone care about, but not about the “thing” that set me off. Just normal conversation and normalcy… that usually helps. Not always, but usually.
I have these panic attacks at times. I have always found deep breathing exercises, long and slow, and a focus meditation – i.e. focusing on the rain drops or a leaf on a tree blowing in the wind or flowing water in a creek – to be very helpful. But I have discovered EFT works very well for these “old memory attacks,” too – and much faster. Specifically, like “miche,” when I think I’ve screwed up my bank account, or when I think I’ve forgotten an appointment or have that free- floating anxiety of “I know I need to do something, but I can’t remember what it is.” Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) has helped me get to sleep, helped my stiff neck, low back pain, depression and lots more. It has not wiped out my Fibro, nor has it helped me loose any weight (unfortunately), but it sure has helped my free-floating anxiety and sudden panic attacks and other things…so I’m keeping it. It’s free and I can do it anywhere! Everywhere!
I have PTSD and many flashback. I am always in pain and they just give me more drugs to take. I am looking for natural remedies. I had one counselor tell me to file for social security.. For others to know don’t do it. My so called hearing became a trial ! I knew it would be bad mentally for me because of the being judged. But now I have moved to a new state Oregon and my meds are almost 500 dollars a month. No insurance. My only hope is to move up into the mountains and just have any stress to set off the flashbacks and pain. I am waiting for another hearing and I have the flight mode on because of the impending doom. So others know our government is harsh and unfair to those who have mental disorders . It is like we are making up flashbacks and pain. When you can’t afford doctors or the meds they put you on. The drug company’s don’t help either. Next best thing is to hide..
Thank you for introducing this topic, Adrienne! I know it took courage to write about it openly. It helps me so much to be reminded that other people struggle with these issues too! I’ve been diagnosed with an anxiety disorder, in particular social anxiety, and also sometimes have “flashbacks” to unpleasant events in my life, of which I’ve had a few. I worked with a psychologist who specialised in anxiety disorders for about a year, and it transformed my life–now when I feel anxious, I know how to diffuse it–deep breathing, transferring my attention (focusing on something in the environment), reminding myself I’m safe (even if I made a mistake on the ATM–boy have I been there! meltdown time!). I also try to head anxiety off by doing yoga and meditation. My wonderful therapist emphasized that anxiety as much a physical response, a train of biochemical events in our body, as an emotional one, which i think is particularly important to those of us with fibro–my anxiety can be triggered by memories or a social situation, but also by too much noise, exhaustion, buzzing flourescent lights at Costco, flashing lights, even sunlight bouncing off of cars in the parking lot when I’m sitting near the window in a restaurant…the list goes on and on! Next thing I know, I feel my heartbeat speeding up, suddenly i can’t think straight or figure out what to do, or even what’s wrong. I find if I try to be proactive about these physical triggers, ie sit with my back to the restaurant window, I have fewer anxiety problems. The most important component for me is just not pushing myself too hard physically–once I “bonk,” I’m much more likely to have an anxiety episode. I’ve also given up my membership to Costco!