A lot of us with fibromyalgia or chronic fatigue syndrome have flares (when symptoms are bad) and remissions (when symptoms are lighter.) While a lot of different things can trigger flares, stress and overexertion are among the most common.
I learned a few years ago that I have to plan for some recovery time after every event that involves stress and overexertion -- especially holidays. I clear my calendar the day after Thanksgiving and Christmas, and I keep a light schedule for a few days after that. If I make plans during my recovery period, I let everyone involved know that they're tentative.
I've found several things that help me get through flares, and part of my holiday preparation includes making sure they'll be available when I need them. Those things include:
- Epsom salt for baths
- Plenty of painkillers & muscle relaxants
- A few clean pairs of pajamas
- Some light, feel-good movies or DVR'd TV shows to watch
- A planned activity that will take my husband & kids out of the house
- Healthy convenience food, including microwavable entrees and easy-to-grab snacks like yogurt, fresh or dried fruit, and nuts
After giving myself one full day to do nothing but relax and take care of myself, I can re-assess and gauge how much I can expect from myself the following day. Then, I make sure to do less than I think I could for a couple of days, just to make sure.
I've needed a lot less recovery time when I've planned ahead far enough to pace myself properly. If you're having trouble with that kind of planning, see The Holiday Survival Guide.
What helps you recover from the holidays or other events? How long does it take you to recover? Have you found things that make your flares less severe? Leave your comments below!
Learn more or join the conversation!
NEWSLETTER | FORUM | BIO | TWITTER | FACEBOOK
- Learn to Pace Yourself
- Holiday Shopping With Fibromyalgia & Chronic Fatigue Syndrome
- The Fibromyalgia & Chronic Fatigue Syndrome Gift Guide
Photo © Stockbyte/Getty Images
My new motto, especially around Christmastime is “Less is More”. A life with “less” becomes a life with “more”; less stuff, less work, less debt = less stress and makes for a merrier Christmas. Simplify and you will find more balance and satisfaction in your life. Don’t fall into the commercialism of Christmas!
Having your husband home for 6 straight days is a flare waiting to happen! Yikes! LOL
My world fell apart when I developed fibromyalgia, But in developing a way to recover from it I created an amazing career helping others.
Its nice to say you already forgot fibromyalgia when there are people willing to help you cope with it.
Hi,
This is to Nina…..having your husband home every day is a flareup waiting to happen. I had to stop working due to fibro and other health issues and shortly afterwards he retired early. Youy want flareup? YIKES!!!!!
Ditto on the husband comments
We do seasonal work and mine is home a lot during the winter. It makes my life a lot more difficult as he has an ornery personality and is always “yelling” about something.
At least you have someone at home to help. I have to manage this on my own. We dont have thanks giving here in Australia but I am dreading being around the shops at christmas time
I recently found out the benefits of reflexology. The other day I was very very weak, pain everywhere, and stressed, and after reflexology I really felt better, and the effect goes on for days. Of course, the reflexologist must be an expert.
Husbands are definitely a reason for flares, from what I understand. Mine…is no exception.
A hot shower helps me along with a favorite movie and some hot chocolate. Fibro took away a career I loved and led me to SSDI.
WOW!! That’s very sad that the husbands are part of the problem!!! I couldn’t ask for a more loving, caring, understanding and supportive partner than my husband!!!
It sounds to me as though they could benefit from a few lessons in compassion. Have them
call my husband, he’ll set them straight!!!!
LOILDF
WOW!!! How sad that so many husbands are part of the problem!!
My husband is always loving, caring, patient, compassionate anand understanding. He picks up the slack when I’m unable to do even basic chores. He will explain to family and friends when plans need to be cancelled. He NEVER makes me feel guilty about any of these things either.
It sounds like so of these husbands need a few lessons in compassion!!
LOILDF
I try to leave time to recover. But, it doesn’t always happen. I still have to work full time, and am single. No one to help me out. Everything is on my shoulders. I push myself too hard and my recovery time takes a lot longer.
Those with husbands should be grateful. I know they are not always a help, but they do try.
I had to take care of the kids, work. My kids are older and 2 on their own now. And, I don’t earn that much time off at work to take recovery time.
I am blessed to have a wonderful husband. He is supportative and very helpful with dealing with my limitations due to fibro and cfs. I feel for those who do not have a partner or anyone to help them. I wish you all a Merry Christmas. Try to rest and keep your stress level as low as possible.
I started on a new anti-viral in August. It has made all the difference. My problem is that I have not learned to balance my CFS. I have been pretty much in bed for 2 years and now find that I am trying to get my house and yards back in shape in a matter of weeks. I decided to have Thanksgiving at my house this year and I have been down and in pain ever since. I’m going back to work, but only part time, in January and really need to learn to manage my energy better.
I have been a single mom for over 20 years, working full time and going to night school full time. For those that have a partner that helps and is understanding, you are truly blessed! I have lost friends and family members because they just don’t understand what is happening to my body. I hardly can understand it myself.
I have decided that the month of December I will be spent on taking care of myself with lots of rest and chores spread over days on in a day! I will be hiring help when I go back to work and get back to having long massages again.
Has anyone tried accpunture? Has it helped?
I also have multiple auto immune disease and severe arthritis throughout. The constant pain and fatigue can be unbearable at times.
Best to all us suffering with these bizarre issues!
I have found that between the deorating, the shopping, arguing about money and all the hustle of doing for everybody else, leaves me hurting, grouchy and in bed.
My children are older now and do not live at home, so I don’t decorate, but the stress of a single income is ENOUGH stress. I do what I can, and try to remind myself that I can only do so much. It helps that I have an awesome boyfriend who really cares about how I feel.
To Rachael- You are EXACTLY correct with your comment.
When we cannot do so, we have even worse flairs and setbacks with our illness.
That being said…There are some that must participate way beyond the boundaries of illness by other influences.
My heart aches for those who are single parents and must work, regardless; and, to those whose Husbands have no sense to have compassion for their spouses with chronic illness.
My Father, unfortunately, fits in the latter category. He is a very self-centered man and is SO unreasonably cruel to Mother despite our (the children of) efforts to get him to understand the results of his actions. Sadly, when we do express our distaste, his response is to punish Mother with more vengeance. At the age of 79, he is on oxygen and has an enlarged heart but is incredibly well despite his condition. Some of his behavior can be blamed on his disease, although a “unique” personality flaw also comes into play as he has always lived in his own selfish world and his family’s illnesses have no place in it. Mother, Sister and I all have varying degrees of FM, CFS, OA and the myriad of symptoms that accompany. He truly loves all of his children but never remembers that any of us (including Mother) have illness, too.
Does anyone have solutions to address such impossible situations?
God bless you all during the holiday season and throughout the year.
Sherudi, I right there with you!
My dad is also of the self-absorbed variety the two things that have help with him are: (1) ask for help when you need it (super hard for me); and, (2) Be super clear about your boundaries and very very direct about voicing them.
I have long since given up on trying to change his personality. You can’t make anyone change if they are not willing to change themselves, the only thing you have control over is how you respond to his behavior.
Lastly, given your dad’s age, I can’t help but wonder if him “punishing” your mother might be the result of dementia. If this is new or escalated behavior for him, it might be worth while to check it out.
Hope this helps!