Holiday Blog Classic: Cutting Down on Stress
We're getting close to Christmas, and (as usual), I'm feeling a bit overwhelmed. I still need to do lots of wrapping, a bit of baking, and stocking-stuffer shopping. I'm tracking the packages I've shipping to far-off family and hoping no freak storms disrupt their delivery (like they did last year.)
I'm not doing too badly, though, considering. Why? Because I have a schedule, and I'm trying my darnedest to stick to it. I know when I'm going to wrap, when I'm going to shop, and when I'm going to bake. I've scheduled extra time for all of those things, in case I get slowed down. I'm also not worrying about the things I can't control -- if something prevents me from getting everything done, I know my priorities and I know what to do away with first.
I've gotten a bit panicky at times, but when I feel that coming on I look at my schedule. Once I see that I have time set aside for all the things I need to do, I feel better.
So if you're feeling overwhelmed right now, sit down and make a list of the things you have left to do. Prioritize: what absolutely must get done, and what can go by the wayside? What can somebody else do, or help with? Once you have your list prioritized, look at your schedule between now and Christmas and see when you have time. If you don't have time for everything, prioritize once again. Think about yourself and those closest to you: what's most important to them? If some things on your list are there to please your aunt, a cousin, a neighbor, etc., they'll just have to understand that you can't do everything.
In the end, what your family and friends should really want from this time of year is -- YOU! If you're happy and (relatively) healthy, you can be part of the celebration. If you're exhausted and feeling lousy (like I was 2 years ago on Christmas day), you can't. I might not get a pecan pie and a plate of fudge made this year, but at least I won't need a 3-hour nap again.
What helps you get through Christmas, and other busy times? Are you doing OK so far, or has the seasonal panic already set in? Do you have any holiday horror stories? Leave your comments below!
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This year, in preparing for Christmas I decided not to wrap gifts but to get gift bags. I was amazed at how much difference that made. Also, I got 2 rotisserie chickens already cooked at the market. My cheesecakes from the cheesecake factory, and anything else that could be made by someone else and served by me. I decided that homebaked was not even on my list of priorities. Now I just have to get through the traveling.
This year, we’re moving. Actually on the 22nd of December to be exact. With that in mind, I have not done any decorating because of this. ( Understandably so).
However, the packing and “purging” that goes along with moving have gotten me down. I fear that I will not get things ready to move by moving day. My husband is saying he is leaving the packing up to me, that way I will have it done the way I want it done & if something gets broken, he will not be to blame. I have told him that it’s inevitable that something always gets either lost or broken when moving & I could really use the help.
Has anyone else had this “kind” of “problem”? We will be going to the inlaws for christmas so the baking and cooking part are taken care of, however I am hoping that I don’t go into flare before then and cannot attend as it always causes arguments.. i.e: Why can’t she come?? Why is she doing this? etc. How can I get them to understand that it is not done on purpose???? It’s so hard to come up with a good way to let them know it’s my Fibro & not anything else… Suggestions would be extremely helpful…
Merry Christmas Adrienne & all the subscribers… Happy New year as well!!! Thanks for this weekly e-letter that I look forward to receiving so much!!!!
Annette,
How difficult, to be moving at this time of year! I hope things are going well and that you are getting some help.
As for getting people to understand when you can’t make it, I’ve found that it can be valuable to let them see you at your worst. We often get so good at hiding our symptoms and hiding ourselves away on bad days that our illness isn’t apparent to people. When you show up at an event and you’re obviously suffering, people “get it” more and tend to become more sympathetic long term.
Take care of yourself, as much as you can right now!
IST YEAR WITHOUT MY MOM WHO PASSED IN sEPTEMBER. I FEEL THAT EVERYONE IS JUST EXPECTING CHRISTMAS AS USUAL, AND I DON’T WANT TO COOK BAKE .I HAVE THREE SMALL CHILDREN AND JUST THE SHOPPING AND A HOLIDAY SONG CAN PUT ME OUT OF COMISSION. ITS VERY HARD TO DO ANYTHING RELATED TO CHRISTMAS. I AM KEEPING THE LITTLE ONES HAPPY BUT FEEL NO ONE REALLY HAS A CLUE HOW DEPRESSED I AM.
Deb,
I’m so sorry to hear about the loss of your mother. It’s normal, while grieving, to be unable to plan and to feel unmotivated, and of course the holidays are especially hard. I urge you to find someone to talk to, whether it’s someone in your life or a professional therapist. Grief and loss are hard enough, and being ill makes everything harder. Do what you need to do to take care of yourself, and give yourself time.
Annette you have a huge task ahead of you but still pace yourself and remember to rest when you need to or you could be unable to finish the task at hand. As for visiting relatives I am so with you but after 38 years of marriage and many regrets I would say rest the day before and try to make it. One of these days it could be very important to you that you made this extra effort. Explain to your husband that you really want to go but you need his help to make this move and visit possible.
Deb, I know from similar years when I lost my parents and two younger siblings how hard this is. I struggled with it and found little comfort but recently read a little article that reminded me that each of them in those years were having their first Christmas with Jesus; who is after the reason for the season. they are hearing angels sing instead of songs on a radio. Try to think of this and may God bless you with his peace.
DEBBIE THANK-YOU FOR THE STORY. I AM A BELEIVER AND THIS WAS A WONDERFUL POSITIVE WAY OF LOOKING AT THIS. PLEASE KNOW THAT YOU HAVE HELPED SOMEONE GET THROUGH THE HOLIDAYS MAYBE A LITTLE EASIER, GOD BLESS YOU AND MERRY CHRISTMAS
DEB, I am an only child of 56 yrs. and lost my mom and dad within 5 months of each other when I was 42. For some reason, Christmas makes me sad instead of happy when I hear those slow old songs. But I remember that the first Mother’s Day after my mom died, I prayed before getting out of bed that God would let my mother know how very much I loved and missed her. I have a black thumb with growing plants, but tried to save all her Christmas, Easter and Thanksgiving cactus’s. When I got up, EVERY PLANT WAS COVERED WITH BLOOMS FULL AND HUGE. It was as if my mom knew what I had asked God for and He answered me. When my oldest daughter was in college after my parents died and during a choir performance, several years later she told me that she saw my mother sitting in the audience as real as any other person sitting there. She said my mother just smiled her big smile at her. My daughter didn’t tell me for so long because she didn’t want me to think she was crazy. I’ve long ago learned that God uses different ways to speak to us. We miss our mothers, fathers, and all those who we love who die before us, but they are waiting for us and I believe God sometimes, when we are lucky enough, lets us connect with them as a blessing. So hang in there and God bless you, and keep your eyes open!