Are you looking for a holiday gift for someone with fibromyalgia (FMS) and chronic fatigue syndrome (CFS or ME/CFS)? I posted the following list last year and got a great response, so I decided to offer it up again.
Here are some ideas for a thoughtful present:
- Warming products: Most of us are cold a lot of the time and have trouble warming up. A lot of new products that heat up are on the market, including scarves, slippers and blankets.
- Time fillers: Because we can be stuck in bed or on the couch a lot, we need ways to spend our time. DVDs, video games, hand-held games, puzzle books, magazine subscriptions and the like can add variety to how we fill those hours. It's an added bonus that brain-training games may, according to research, help us keep or regain cognitive abilities. Also consider items related to any hobbies they may have. Whether books are a good idea depends on the degree of the person's cognitive dysfunction.
- Relaxation aids: Things like relaxing music, aromatherapy products, and gentle massage tools can help with stress, and less stress means fewer symptoms! Do be cautious about scented or personal-care products (i.e. lotion, body wash) - a lot of us have sensitivities to those kinds of things, so only buy them if you know there's no sensitivity issue.
- Illness-related books: If the person is newly diagnosed or really struggling with symptoms, a book about their illness could really help. Look for ones that offer real-life help and easy-to-understand information, and avoid those that promise cures.
- New Addition -- Bath products: I saw an awesome bathtub tray recently, and with how often we take hot baths to warm up and relax our bodies, I thought something like that would be great! Also consider things like bath pillows or really soft body scrubbers.
- New Addition -- Reviewed products: I've reviewed a couple of products that really help me get through life. Check out the Mediflow Waterbase Pillow and the Homedics Shaitsu Back & Soulders Massaging Cushion.
It can also help to know what not to give! Here are gifts that may not be appropriate:
- Exercise-related gifts: People with FMS and ME/CFS get tired of well-meaning suggestions that they exercise more, so unless you know an exercise-related item is something the person wants, don't go there!
- Plants: While plants can help create a healthy and pleasant environment, anything that needs care is a bad idea for someone dealing with these illnesses.
- Gift cards: If the person you're buying for has trouble driving or walking, gift cards are likely to go unused. If the person is comfortable shopping on the Internet, however, consider a gift card that can be used online.
- Event tickets: Planning ahead is hard when you have an unpredictable illness. Tickets to a date-specific event may be hard for the person to use. Same goes for gift certificates with an expiration date.
- Personal care products or anything scented: Because so many of us have sensitivities, unless you know the person well and know what they can tolerate, these are best avoided.
One of the greatest gifts you can give to someone with a chronic illness is your time. Perhaps you can offer to take your friend holiday shopping, help put up decorations, or do something else to help them prepare for the holidays!
Any other suggestions for gifts that are either thoughtful or inappropriate? Have you gotten a gift that left you angry, offended or shaking your head? Have you gotten something that you absolutely love? Leave your comment below!
Suggested Reading:
- The Holiday Survival Guide
- 10 Ways to Surivive Holiday Shopping
- A Simple Explanation of Fibromyalgia
- A Simple Explanation of ME/CFS
Photo © Lauren Nicole/Getty Images
This item is something I actually bought myself, but I think it makes the perfect gift for someone with CFS/fibromyalgia, if they’re a reader. I enjoy reading when I have some quiet time — it’s so relaxing. The gift is called “The Book Buddy” by Amanda Crawford Designs. It’s a beautiful pillow that comes in many designs. You hold it on your lap under the book. It has ribbon page holders. You keep the book in the “book buddy”, and it’ll keep the page you’re currently on without a bookmark. You won’t have to hold the book in your painful hands or feel the book on your sore body as you’re reading. All you have to do is turn the page and place it in the ribbon on the left side of the book buddy. It’s a slightly expensive gift, but believe me, it’s one of the best things I’ve bought myself and I love it! Here’s the link to check it out. You’ll make someone with CFS/fibro very happy this holiday season with this very thoughtful gift.
http://amanda-crawford-designs-book-buddy.amazonwebstore.com/
The gift of love and understanding can usually mean more to someone suffering from fibromyalgia than anything you could possibly buy for them. This gift is inexpensive, very easy to give and can last a very long time!
This is a great list! I’d like to add herbal teas for a great gift. I’ve found a hot cup of herbal tea to be more relaxing than aromatherapy, though I know everyone is different.
Hi. I agree that love is the best thing you can give someone with this illness, and one of the best ways to show your love to a patient is by just being there for them, and showing your support and love to them by volunteering to give them a gentle massage. Most Fibro patients have painful shoulders, necks, and backs, and rubbing and massaging usually helps a lot. Just be sure you don’t apply too much pressure (unless the patient asks you to). My husband has been 97-100% bedridden since 1989 (20 years) due to Fibromyalgia and severe Chronic Fatigue Syndrome.
Something else that has been absolutely fantastic for my husband is something I bought at a Walgreens drug store called a “Bed Buddy” It is designed to be put into the microwave for about 2 minutes to heat it up, and then placed on the patient’s shoulders. It brings such great relief, and it can be used on other areas as well. He uses it all the time to get relief and even wears it around his shoulders when he has to leave the house for doctor’s appointments etc. Any fibro or CFS/ME sufferer will absolutely love it (if they’re in a lot of pain).
Thanks very much,
you’ve helped me greatly, I think my family are a little sick of hearing me say I don’t want anhything for christmas or my birthday.
I think I will put this info up on my family site.
Again ThanQ
buy a lap desk from hampton inn. it is perfect to use on your lap to read, paint, or anything else while sitting anywhere.
While overall a good list, I have to disagree with the one about plants. When I first ‘crashed’ I was hit hard…could barely get out of bed in the morning and I (or my family!) were lucky if I was able to take a shower. Having plants, and a cat…a simple pet to care for…gave me something to keep me going, in a small way a purpose outside of myself. We can’t be over-loaded, yet I found it helpful to have something simple outside of myself to care for.
What a lovely idea – sometimes buying people gifts is hard enough, and this becomes more difficult when you have to consider the person’s health. Thank you!
I agree with Kathy (7), sharing our lives with other living beings gives us reasons to go on with our days and our lives. I don’t want to sound rude, but sometimes; as chronically illed, we can be a little self-centered and self abosrbed (because of the complicated situations we have to face daily and how overwhelming they can be, and how the fatigue and pain reminds us every second that we are sick), and we tend to forget that the world is much bigger than us and our problems, caring about other people, animals, plants, even participating on causes can nourish our lives deeply, and give us new perspectives and reasons to keep hanging in there and furthermore, to not let this illness to define us, focusing on others is in a way, to focus on ourselves as complex human beings, with FMS/CFS as a part of it only.
It works for me, traveling, charity work, acting as a caregiver for someone else, or even being my adorable doggie works for me (I’ve had FMS since I was 17, I’m 25 now). So a cat, a hamster, a plant or a fish can be a great gift, I would ask first anyways, just in case they have allergies or already have one pet and the interaction could be complicated.
I left my blog’s link, but it is mainly in Spanish, and thinking about how to rename it, don’t like the name anymore.
I have found that an extremely thick Fiber Bed (non-allergenic featherbed) helps my pain tremendously in bed. However, after a couple yrs. they flatten & I am having trouble finding another one as thick.