It's pretty bad when the things you do for entertainment stress you out, but that's often the case for those of us with fibromyalgia (FMS) and chronic fatigue syndrome (CFS or ME/CFS). Here's a recent quote from a comment left here by Valetudinarian:
"I find I can no longer watch stressful movies or read grisly books (violent or
slasher films and Patricia Cromwell-like books)."
I've noticed exactly the same thing -- the tension they build, which is release for most people, triggers my FMS symptoms. I had a hard time getting through the opening scene of Casino Royale, with James Bond chasing a bad guy at high speeds along the skeletal frame of a skyscraper under construction. I'm sure it didn't help that I was watching it on a huge screen, either. First, I got really anxious, then I started to get dizzy and nauseous. I know from experience what comes next -- sharp abdominal pain.
Fortunately, I recognized what was going on before the pain kicked in. I wanted to get through the movie, so I paused it for a moment, took a few deep breaths, and consciously relaxed my tense muscles. I then made a concerted effort to stay detached from the action, and think about what kind of wires and things they probably used to get those shots. It helped, and I've used that detachment since then when I've felt myself tense up like that. I works well for me, I'm happy to say!
Still, I wouldn't want to make this kind of entertainment too-regular a thing. Once or twice a month is probably plenty for me.
So why is it that these things effect us so profoundly? I have a couple of ideas:
First, they're intended to get the heart pumping and the adrenaline surging -- that's what makes them such a great release. Most of us with FMS or ME/CFS, however, have problems with our stress system. We're often deficient in cortisol, the hormone that helps your body through stressful events, and we're also likely to have HPA axis dysfunction, adding to the harmful effects of stress on our bodies.
Second, and less scientific, is my belief that we tend to have more empathy than the average person. When someone in a book, movie or TV show gets hurt, I can imagine all too well what it feels like. In the brain, "pain" and "emotion" are intrinsically linked, in a way science is just beginning to understand. To me, it seems possible that by empathizing with a character's pain, I'm pulling up my own emotional response to pain. I makes the experience too "real" to me.
Do violent or action-packed books/movies/TV shows bother you this way? Do you avoid them, or have you developed coping mechanisms? What genres do you consider "safe" for entertainment? Leave your comments below!
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Dear Adrienne,
OMGoodness, YES it also effects my head Tremors too to watch action movies, not as much books but movies yes! This is a Great question and artical!
Movies tend to tense me up so bad I hurt afterwords so much I have to take a pain pill,lol
FibroAngel2
Oh, thank you for this post! It is so very true. I literally quit watching Battlestar Galactica – a show I loved – because it was making me too tense and stressed out. I usually tell people this as a joke, but after reading your article, I realize it is not, is it. Most people take for granted that when they get wrapped up in a t.v. show or movie it is a great and entertaining thing. And while it seems silly to think this could be bad for your health, people with ME/CFS and fibro know it can be quite serious. Every little bit of stress makes life that much harder for us. It’s very sad that we might have to give up something we love that can also take us away from our chronically ill lives. For me, these escapes are what keep me sane!
Interesting and until now hadn’t thought about it except noticing that I can no longer abide with (some) television shows or movies with slowly building anxiety or whenever the character is going to do something terribly stupid and it’s so telegraphed you know disaster looms.
But, so far anyway, action thrillers don’t cause real discomfort. Maybe it’s because I am one of the small percentage of fibro sufferers who is male.
No problem with Casino Royale, but my wife’s cheesy Lifetime movies drive me up a wall.
I have felt that all my life. My mother read Grimms fairy tales to all her kids. They terrified me. I just don’t watch TV or movies. Too stressful. I have had fibromyalgia for ten years, and polymyalgia rheumatica for two plus years. They don’t complement each other. Anyelse with both????
I’ve had ME/CFS for 8 years and recently turned 36. I thought I’d buy the complete series of the X-Files as I’d enjoyed this somewhat in my college days (when the series first aired here in the UK). BIG mistake. I could only stomach part of the DVD collection before deciding now to put it back on eBay. The horror, grisliness and sheer malevolence of a lot of the characters and scenes did nothing to improve my mood and yes, worsened my symptoms (I know my memory is bad but I didn’t recall there being so much horror…then again it has been 15 years!).
Every time some highly emotional scene would come on, my body would react immediately with a (non-painful) type of pins and needles, tears and then an even greater drain in energy and increase in pain would follow. When you’re 50 percent+ of each day bedridden, exhausted with a vice-like grip feeling on painful muscles AND suffering depression, watching things such as this I’ve found really don’t help (that’s to put it lightly). Don’t get me wrong, the series was excellently written and the actors very good – this isn’t to put down the show’s writing but the horror scenes I found practically unwatchable.
I can no longer watch films or TV programmes that are fear-inducing or emotionally draining. Comparing watching something like this with, say, lying down, eyes-closed in a low-lit room with a quiet audio book or podcast with the content being of a gentle nature (or indeed, just plain silence) I know which I now choose. Sometimes I find myself not listening to what my body needs and going with what I USED to enjoy, each time I get knocked back down with a great big NO. This is a case in point.
(for any X-Files fans that may read this, no offence!)
Thank you. I’ve had to completely give up action movies and suspense novels. I remember the first time I realizes this was a problem. I’d seen The Rock with Ed Harris and others, where a guy takes over Alcatraz and tries to wreak havoc. A terrific movie, but in the parking lot after my heart just wouldn’t stop pounding and it lasted for a long time and I realized it was from the adreneline from the movie. It wasn’t long after that I realized that I have anxiety problems. I’ve barely seen an exciting movie since. If I’m going to pay almost $10, sit and get pain in my knees and back from the fibro and possibly a headache, I can’t exacerbate it by freaking out as well. Another thing fibro keeps me from enjoying.
As for books, a much bigger issue for me as I’m a voracious reader (and many days it’s the only thing I can do for entertainment) I remember listening to an audio book I’d really been excited about and being so tense and worried about the character early on in the book, before the main action even started, the lead who obviously was going to be fine, that I haven’t tried anything suspenseful since. And that wasn’t even a real thriller, just a more exciting mystery. It’s all cozy mysteries for me now. And I still oftn have to cheat and read the end and make sure my favorite characters are ok so I can enjoy the book without the unwarrented stress. Hard to do on audio books, too, have to be very careful selecting those.
It’s hard enough dealing with all of the limitations fibro pits on my life. I know this stuff isn’t critical, but it just rubs salt in the wound, so to speak. It makes me feel crazy, even though my doc assures me I’m not
Sorry this is so long, it was just such a relief and comfortbro see that I’m not alone in this. Thank you all for the support and comfort.
Thank you. I’ve had to completely give up action movies and suspense novels. I remember the first time I realizes this was a problem. I’d seen The Rock with Ed Harris and others, where a guy takes over Alcatraz and tries to wreak havoc. A terrific movie, but in the parking lot after my heart just wouldn’t stop pounding and it lasted for a long time and I realized it was from the adreneline from the movie. It wasn’t long after that I realized that I have anxiety problems. I’ve barely seen an exciting movie since. If I’m going to pay almost $10, sit and get pain in my knees and back from the fibro and possibly a headache, I can’t exacerbate it by freaking out as well. Another thing fibro keeps me from enjoying.
As for books, a much bigger issue for me as I’m a voracious reader (and many days it’s the only thing I can do for entertainment) I remember listening to an audio book I’d really been excited about and being so tense and worried about the character early on in the book, before the main action even started, the lead who obviously was going to be fine, that I haven’t tried anything suspenseful since. And that wasn’t even a real thriller, just a more exciting mystery. It’s all cozy mysteries for me now. And I still often have to cheat and read the end and make sure my favorite characters are ok so I can enjoy the book without the unwarrented stress. Hard to do on audio books, too, have to be very careful selecting those.
And now I find that even too much tv or music, just too much noice, gets me overstimulated and ill. It’s crazy. My choices are becoming more limited every day. It’s hard enough dealing with all of the limitations fibro puts on my life, but this stuff just rubs salt in the wound, so to speak. It makes me feel crazy, even though my doc assures me I’m not
Sorry this is so long, it was just such a relief and comfort see that I’m not alone in this. Thank you all for the support and comfort.
wonderful. thought it was just me. can’t even watch ER anymore without xanex. emotional triggers for me can be just one phrase and i’m out of the room. getting older just makes me more sensitive. so, travel channel, clothes shows, some politics, that’s about it. oh,and charming, small films without car crashes, women as victims, and gore.
The hubby and I can’t watch regular TV due to the stress of commercials even. Everything sets of the stress response, especially in my husband’s case. I’m finding my ability to tolerate it less and less as I realize what it does to me.
I’ve never really realized this ! My father who also has fibro says that He can’t stand watching anything with blood involved ! Even at the hospital/ Drs. office he has them blindfold him to get a shot ! He can’t watch any type of Medical Show.
Me- on the other hand, I can watch that stuff, I’ve had enough blood drawn in the past 3 years to fill a 50 Gallon Drum ! ( it seems….LOL ) It doesn’t bother me.
I’ve noticed though~ Recently went to The movie theater & saw a horror movie ( which I’ve always liked ! ), and when it was over my legs were so sore, back hurting, alot of pain ! This may explain it~ Saw a romantic comedy last month, felt fine when it was over !! So, needless to say this article really caught my attention !
When it comes to Natural Disasters ( Hurricane Katrina) watching ANY of that on tv always brings me to tears, Others might feel bad/sad about it, but It GREATLY affects me !!
I am so glad I read this. I thought I was the only one that avoided such movies nowadays due to FM. I tell my husband that I must leave the room and go turn the other television onto something completely mindless and silly. I can no longer take the stimulation of the emotions brought by depressing or fearful movies. ALL stimulation as such, even in everyday life, brings on physical pain. Yes, I understand completely. I am a nurse. So I have way too much stress as it is. I had a co-worker one day ask if I like adrenaline rushes. I said NO. I hate them. I cannot stand emergencies because of it anymore. I will deal with it. However, I do care very much about my patients and I cannot deal with that kind of stress like I use to. It causes pure physical pain. “Stress now and pay later” should be the motto of this disease.
Hi Again,
I just thought of something,when we had our Satalite I would watch TCM the old Black & White movies and that would be all I would watch because it helped me relax( yep it is silly)but things were diffrent then, Violance was much lower,and I just Love watching TCM, plus NO Commercials!!!.
And I have a hard time getting myself to sit and watch movies, I watched THE KNOWING and in the end I was so emotional I just shut the TV off compleatly and just sat and thought about the movie, which is very good if I do say so, but it made me just think about life and depressed me.
Thanks again Adrienne for getting this subject out I see it is affecting most Fibro/CFS suffers.
Hugs to All
FibroAngel2
Wow…I stumbled on this tonight, and realized that this is ME! I’ve had fibro for years, but thought it was my “aging” (almost 50!!) that was making me not want to watch ‘intense’ films or shows. I used to love them, but now I won’t even stay in the room if my husband is watching one on TV. Now I realize that this is yet one more ‘behavior’ that I’ve modified in effort to manage my fibro–only this time I didn’t realize that’s what I was doing!
Thank you for sharing! I can hardly wait to tell my husband–who is extremely supportive and caring–that there’s a reason why I send him to the movies without me!
Yes, I do have problems watching movies with blood, terror, or surgery. I hate seeing things done to people’s bodies, and I have always had this “problem,” even before I incurred the injuries that led to fibro. As a teen, I watched the first Halloween, and couldn’t sleep well for weeks. In college, I was Robocop with a friend and their kids, and almost threw up. [They picked the movie--I didn't know how much violence was coming. I wouldn't ever let kids see this!]
After a major injury [ICU, basal skull fracture, sprained neck--among other things], I had a reaction watching television: I couldn’t remember the accident I had been in. I was watching a police show, and someone was thrown against a mirror. His head hit, the glass shattered, and he slumped. I passed out. My explanation: My subconscious and my body remembered the very painful, life-threatening injury I had recently received, and shut down.
My rule: if it’s rated R, don’t go. Even now, a PG-13 for violence may be ruled off my list. The Transformers trailer has me concerned. One of my adopted children has sensory processing issues, and I wonder if this could affect her as well? She sees movies with friends, and is sometimes stressed after. I thought is was just the stress of staying with a friend. [She helps her wheelchair bound friend when she visits.]–Sorry for the bunny trail
I, too, don’t listen to violent books, have never read people like Stephen King, et al, because of horror. I made a lower grade in college rather than read All Quiet on the Western Front–a war novel. It was just too graphic for me. I’m late 40′s now, and was just diagnosed with fibro a year ago.
This was my first time to read about this. Thank you for sharing.
I just told someone today that I’ve not turned on the TV for news for a few days because there was a shooting at a gym near-by and I feel like I would rather have the news in print.
People’s emotions are hard for me to deal with because they cause me fatigue and stress that I’m not equipped to deal with. I want to BE THERE for people but on the other hand, for a very long time, I’ve felt that I’ve had to keep an emotional distance for my own sake. Before I was diagnosed, I guess I instinctually knew this but I didn’t know it was for my health’s sake.
People tell me that I’m so calm in a crisis. I know why that is. Initially when the crisis hits, there’s a sense of denial – this can’t happen to me. Then, I go right away trying to minimize the effects of the crisis, problem-solving… quickly, so I don’t have to deal with the emotions.
What you say about empathy is uncannily true. Moreso than I want to admit because I don’t dare tell a doctor such a thing. I’ve been fighting psychological labels for long enough that I know what’s good for me.
How do I feel about myself? I have such a HUGE potential to be a great friend, because I am deeply empathetic… but I don’t have the energy to truly BE THERE for people, and I tend to withdraw. I’ve lost at least one friendship because of this. It’s not that I don’t care. I care so deeply that it hurts in a very physical way. Tension hurts. I feel kind of hollow, shallow when in fact, I am just overwhelmed so easily by emotions that I push them aside. I have a huge heart… great compassion… but I can’t seem to give of myself without reservation for my own state of being.
I don’t understand how people can watch super-violent movies or videogames, for exactly the reason you mentioned: I end up feeling everything they’re going through, the empathetic response. And that isn’t very entertaining for me at all.
Yes, Yes, Soooooooooo YES for me. I choose very carefully what movies I will go to in the theater, because of the noise and the “action.” I’ve probably been to two movies in the last two or three years, because most of them don’t fit my criteria. And, even if they do, a lot of times the previews that they show are enough to make my head and heart pound, which can bring on the fibro pain.
As for TV, it’s the noise level more than anything that gets me. We keep our TV at a much lower level than we used to, and almost always mute the commercials because they’re so much louder. Of course, we don’t watch the grisly shows anyway, we mostly stick to classic TV shows/movies, news, and lighter-type shows.
It’s funny, but I don’t have a problem with books. I’m a pretty avid reader, but I can separate myself from what’s happening in the book. But again, I don’t choose grisly selections as a rule. I’m more into “chick lit” and escapist reads.
Interesting topic, Adrienne!
Wow. I thought I understood everything about myself and my illness(es). Adrienne’s comments about empathy really hit home. My boyfriend really loves to watch WWII documentaries, and I tell him that I can’t watch them (particularly the Hitler death camp ones) because they make me SOOO _profoundly_ sad and depressed. This has always been true for me, even as a child, well before the onset of my illness.
Really appreciate this article, Adrienne. Although I’ve always recognized that I am abnormally empathetic, I’ve never related it to FMS. I just knew it was a trait of HSP. I learned through the years to monitor my TV/movie watching carefully because the stress, intensity and violence are so disruptive to my peace of mind and ability to relax. I’d just about completely given up on TV. Great suggestion to try TCM. Thanks for posting it, FibroAngel2. Any chance of compiling a list of “friendly” movies/tv programs/channels?
OMG – My family /friends act like I’m nuts when I say I can’t take the action or thriller movies ! I have always refused to watch them and they always saying oh, you’ve got to see this one, its great ! They don’t understand. Sitting and watching one of these literally makes me sick the rest of the evening. I was diagnosed with Adrenal Fatigue last winter. I’m glad to finally know that I am not alone in my feelings about this !
I have ME/CFS and FM and I have noticed this somewhat, in the past, too; however, the last time I went to a movie, it was dramatically obvious. I really had a hard time. The motion during the movie made me feel sick, tensing up during several suspenseful scenes increased my pain significantly, and by the time it was over, I was crashing terribly – a crash that lasted 3 days. I know it was the movie, because I hadn’t done anything else that day, or for several days prior.
I can watch stuff at home, though, that would bother me at the movies. I think this is becasue I take breaks from what I’m watching when I’m home and I watch while laying on my couch (much more comfortable and less conducive to tensing up). I tend to read in a similar manner, so maybe that’s also why books don’t bother me like going to the movies does.
Not only do I have trouble with books or movies, for years I have not been able to tolerate seeing words like “hazard” or “warning” on road signs. Seeing the word stress is stressful. Being stressed out by words alone got so bad that when I would begin to watch a comedy (gentle, less intense comedies) on a DVD, I had to turn away from the “Warning” about prosecution at the beginning. I am feeling better now and can tolerate that warning.
Has anyone ever had a problem like when you hear that a plane crashed and people died or car accident, etc., or an animal is harmed or tortured, that you find yourself in a weird way feeling what they must have felt as they either died or were tortured? I know this sounds really weird. I’ve done this for years. I’m almost bothered more by animal abuse than people. Please tell me that I’m not the only one who suffers emphathy to this extent. I have horses and the news story yesterday about the slaughter of 17 horses in Miami and the pictures shown on tv made me almost hit rock bottom.
Gail,
I completely understand what you mean about “feeling” the pain someone else must have felt when something horrible happens. That was one of the things that became really hard for me working in TV news — I could no longer emotionally distance myself from thing like you need to when you’re confronted by it every day.
My main interest and background is in psychology. Although I have axonal peripheral neuropathy, among other neurological problems, I can deal with those problems, with the aid of chemistry, far better than I can of those with psychological issues.
I’ve always contendended that our reactions to things are largely predetermined by our experiences when we were children. Yes, I know that sounds trite, but it holds true in my case. I grew up in a disturbed environment in that first it was the Great Depression which was followed by WWII. In both instances, I was a child and unable to protect myself from the negative things around me.
Our family was in Germany for a while in 1937, just long enough for me to get a good taste of what life could be like with Hitler as its leader. During the War, Hollywood ground out many propaganda movies, intended to get the citizenry of the U.S.A. in recognizing the evil Germans, Japanese, and Italians. Because of my age and my vulnerability, those movies hit their marks with me.
I cannot stand any circumstance in which a “victim” is being terrorized by the “evil” ones. If you don’t cooperate with them, you will be tortured and then killed. If you do cooperate with them, you may be lucky and skip over the torture and walk directly to being killed. In any case, the result for the victim (read, me) will be the same. I will find myself in a no-win situation with the only unsure things in my life being not knowing when the axe shall fall.
Like so many of the otgher writers here, I turn this mental stress into physical ones. The mind believes it is protecting itself this way, but it is at the sacrifice of the body.
As far as photos of situations in which the innocent public is being racked over, those are the worst for me. A still photo never changes. The affect of those photos never changes.
Also like so many of the other writers here, I’m thought of as being very empathic. I agree that I am, but I am to a fault. I cannot separate myself from the horror the other person is experiencing; my empathy is killing me.
As far as censorship is concerned, to protect myself from experiencing the pain of my neurological diseases, I will never approve of censorship. That is a bit like, not in my neighborhood, only to notice one day that it is your own neighborhood that is being censored.
Yes, I do go on. Yes, I’m thankful that this subject is being given its due. Yes, take good care of yourselves, you folks out there who suffer.
Gail, I know what you mean about animals…..I cannot stand to hear of them being hurt or in pain or anything….it really bothers me when it’s a person, as well, but there’s something about animals being harmed that sometimes almost gets to me more….actually animals and human babies and very young children – I think it has to do with their innocence and lack of understanding about what is happening, as well as the inability to offer verbal comfort that they will understand
interesting timing, btw, because I saw something happen to a small animal today that is still really bothering me…..I don’t want to write about it, though, because I don’t want to make anyone here feel bad
I raced out of the movie theatre five minutes into the beginning of Stars Wars ( the one where the jet riders scoot everywhere). Did not make it and vomited on the carpet. Very embarrassed. Since having fibro, movement and violence react with me very badly.
To Greybeh and Gladys Boring,
I too have lost a couple of friends due to withdrawal. I can’t deal with their pain on top of my own. I feel theirs quite significantly and want to help so much. Waiting for the ax to fall? I have felt that way my whole life(55)yrs. My mom said I was a fussy baby with days and nights mixed up for first three yrs. News flash mom, they still are. Best to you all. We will survive, but it is lonely sometimes.
Thanks Chronicfatigue. I needed to hear that. I’m sorry you feel that way also, but glad I’m not alone in my feelings. And, GLADYS, I’m not sure here is the place to say this, but you suggested that sometimes things in our childhood may be the reason for some to be so emphathetic. I was molested at 8 years old by 4 male cousins and was threatened that if I told anyone, I would be the one to get in trouble. I believed them then and then blocked it out for 25 years! After 6 months of seeing a wonderful Christian psychologist, I made it through the pain of remembering. I know this is not the case for most people, but could be for me. It’s a thought. Thanks
>>they’re intended to get the heart pumping and the adrenaline surging << I know this and I know when the car will crash or the boogie man jump out at me, but I still jump and scream anyway. Fortunately my husband and I just laugh at me and it relieves the stress right away. Now if I can just get my poor pet birds to not react to me screaming–
I have just recently given up certain authors, Patricia Cromwell being one. I have been reading alot of Maeve Binchy books. I find them very soothing, they revolve around everyday things that people go thru. No violence, blood & gore.
I am an avid reader of Cornwell, Patterson, the Twilight series etc. The violant parts don’t seem to bother me as I tend to skim over them or psyhc then out. Romantic novels irritate me for some reason. As to movies I prefer romantic comedies but have to watch them at home and take breaks. Anything involving torture upsets me. Like Gail I am more upset by animal abuse then people. If
something on TV involves animal abuse I have to shut the TV off. It makes me ill.
Definitely hear the one about the pod racers in star wars. I was in my early 20′s and could NOT handle that! Sometimes the stuff I already watched & enjoyed from many years before anxiety and depression problems won’t bother me now, but some will.
I’ve looked for the bone-dry, witty material to read, but again the options become more & more limited. No one writes like L.M. Montgomery’s Anne series but Miss Read’s Fairacre series books are pretty good for snoozy reading. The old Wind In The Willows stop-motion from the 1980′s is nice and slow, & Once Upon a Hamster is gentle. There are only so many times you can watch the gentler Anne mini-series (NOT the newer ones, btw)! Even sweet Jane Austen has gotten old for me. The first two or three seasons of (Road to) Avonlea work but after that they get tenser and tenser. Even the Waltons gets to be too much when they reach the 1940s. (Occassionally Grizzly Adams will work, or very very very old disney flicks.)
The options are so limited and I really wish film-makers and audio book publishers would realise that. Just give us day-to-day bits with the witty stuff. Life is soooo stressful without having to create entertainment stress. Glad to know I’m not alone and I hope we all can find a newsgroup or something to compare notes and offer new examples of non-stressful programing. (I’ve even reinvested in goofy new-age music recently… the idea is a kick in the pants but at least it works.)
With all the noisy machines, ruthless driving, political screaming, diseases, accidents, mean judgements by family, friends or just strangers, and violence in the world… well, who really needs to sit back in your recliner, turn on the set and experience even more?
I have felt guilty because I can’t watch movies very often. It’s good to know it is part of this disease.
We got rid of cable TV because the comercials were too much. Not just the ones in the breaks, but the ones across the bottom of the show. Now we just watch movies–and mostly gentle ones or old SciFi. We also watch videos of old TV shows. My husband loves action adventure movies, so I just listen to them while I play a video game on the computer. I have listened to most movies that way for almost ten years.