What kind of mattress do you have? Is it comfortable? This becomes an important question when you have both the chronic pain and sleep problems that come with fibromyalgia.
I used to have a traditional inner-spring mattress, but once fibromyalgia hit it put too much pressure on my body and it hurt just to lay on the thing. Since then, I've tried both Sleep Number and memory foam.
The Sleep Number bed took some time to get used to, but once I found the right combination of number and pillow, it was great. I loved it for about a year and didn't have any fibro-related problems with it. I then developed a separate, very painful issue in my lower back and hips, however, and that area needed a lot of support. I found that when the bed was firm enough to support that area, it hurt other places.
I then went to visit someone who had a memory foam mattress in the guest room, and I loved it. It supported me well all over without putting enough pressure anywhere to hurt. I started saving some money and was able to find a relatively inexpensive one (not the name brand), and I've been very happy with it.
This topic has come up in my forum, and some report better luck with memory foam, while some prefer Sleep Number. Some also have added a memory foam topper to an inner-spring mattress and are happy with it.
Something to consider with either of them is the "new bed" smell they each have. If you're chemically sensitive, you may want to unpack the mattress in a room you don't spend a lot of time it and let the gasses dissipate before you try sleeping on it.
It's impossible to overstate how important sleep is to feeling better. When I got treatment for sleep apnea and found supplements that help regulate my sleep cycle (rhodiola and theanine), my symptoms dropped off dramatically. When I have a bout of insomnia and don't get my typical 5-6 hours a night, they come right back. Having the right mattress (and pillow - that's just as important!) makes a big difference.
Of course, a new bed is expensive. When the time comes to get a new mattress, however, it pays to consider all of your options. Some manufacturers offer a 30-day in-home trial, and check to see if they offer a money-back guarantee. Be sure to shop around and look into non-name brand products.
Have you found a mattress you like? Take the poll, and share your experiences to help the rest of us make informed decisions!
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My husband and I both agree that our best beds ever were our full flotation waterbeds. Unfortunately, you just can’t find them anymore, not to mention that some floors just can’t handle the weight.
We slept on my sister’s memory foam mattress last year, and that’s the 2nd best bed we’ve ever slept on. We’re saving our money now to be able to buy one.
I have had fm 10 years. My tempur-pedic bed is the best I can have for now. Nothing will make my skeleton totally comfortable, but this bed is a great foundation.
We invested in a pillowtop mattress a year after I was diagnoised with FM & CFS which has helped provide a more comfortable place to rest and sleep. I also use a pillow between my knees when I sleep to alleviate strain on my lower back and hips.
I have a Tempur-pedic and it has been a Godsend! I absolutely love it and I wouldn’t have any other kind of bed. It came with a 20 year guarantee. My fibromyalgia pain has improved so much in the morning from this bed. I used to be so stiff in the morning and now I wake up more limber.
My husband spent the big bucks to get me the Sleep Number bed. I slept in it for awhile and tried like crazy to get the number right but like Adrianne said – you get one part of your body comfortable but then develop a problem with another part. Eventually, I gave up and went back to the couch which is very comfortable for me. My husband, who takes everything personal, is upset about the money he spent on the bed and because I’m not sleeping with him. I’ve talked with him, educated him till I’m blue in the face about Fibro, given him things to read, forwarded emails I get from About.com and all the rest, to no avail. I wish this info would have came out before we spent the money on the bed. At least he wouldn’t be upset with me for that.
I did read this article to him and said “There, see – I’m not the only one and this proves I’m not lying about why I’m not sleeping with you.”\
Ugh
We have a full motion waterbed, too, and it does help me sleep a little better. But, that is only true when my husband is not home. He works out of town and is gone 2 out of 3 nights. If we sleep in it together, it makes the bed so hard that I hurt worse. So, when he is home I try to start out in bed with him and when I can’t handle the pain any more I move to my recliner to sleep. (Mary, maybe this wopuld be a solution for your bed problems with your husband).
I have FM and RA and so my shoulders hurt from the FM and I sleep in the recliner so as to not put pressure on them. Then after a night or 2 my hips hurt from the RA (rheumatoid arthritis)and I sleep in the bed again.
We spent several nights at a friends home who has a Tempurpedic and I must say it was NOT the right bed for me. I found it very hard to move on the bed once the mattress has formed to my shape. If I can’t move, I hurt worse.
Honestly, I don’t think there IS a bed out there right now that helps everyone. If some of you have found a good one for you, I am delighted. But, until one is made that really helps me, that we can afford, I will switch back and forth between the bed and the recliner.
First we bought a pillow topped mattress and that helped somewhat. I have gotten a tempurpedic 3 inch topper and that has made it much better. It is still not perfect but an improvement to the point I can get 5 hours of fairly sound sleep before the pain wakes me up. I’m still chronically sleep deprived but not a total zombie quite so often.
My husband and I had to give up and sleep in different beds in different rooms. He snored terribly and I need a zillion pillow to get me propped into a reasonably comfortable position. Now we are also both on CPAP. I’ve slept better since this move too, So has he.
We’ve just had to make the mental and marital adjustment.
We had a water bed for years, but we had to get rid of it because of my husbands bad back. We then bought a conversion inner spring mattress for it, but is extremely hard because there isn’t a box spring. I slept on a few of those egg carton foam toppers, but they didn’t give me any relief. We now have a $75.00 memory foam topper from Wal-mart which helps alot.
I bought one through JC Penney Catalog. I know how you feel about the floation water beds, they’re wonderful!
Thank you all for your comments. I am in the process of buying a bed, and getting very frustrated. The one a just bought felt good in the store, but at home it is as hard as sleeping on the floor, so it is getting returned! I’ve tried the memory foam beds in the store and they seem hard to me too. But maybe the toppers will help. Thank you Adrienne for bringing up the topic and for all your hard work!!
I had a basic inner spring pillow top mattress, but it just wasn’t comfortable at all. I bought a 5″ foam topper and it’s like Heaven! It made all the difference in the world for my back.
Now find me a good pillow!!
I don’t have FM, but my wife does. I just want to let those of you who do have it know that for us, the sleep issue was, and still is a real problem.
We tried mutliple beds, toppers, pillows etc which well exceeded $2000 for our trouble. $4000 if you count the new living room set we had to buy so my wife could sleep on a couch she was comfortable with.
So please, tell your spouses they’re not alone in their frustration over the sleep issue. I can attest that it truely is nothing personal when you wake up and your spouse isn’t there, or never was there.
FM is a very difficult disease for a relationship. Your partner’s choice about where they sleep isn’t arbitrary and has nothing to do with you. It’s about surviving this disease and being able to live your life in the best way possible.
So to those guys having a hard time with this, I encourage you to muster every bit of understanding you have and remember you’re not the only ones who feel this way. Your wive’s love you and they need every bit of love and understanding you can muster.
Joe, you & my husband are grand guys. Fibro has caused me to sleep in a recliner for over 2 months. I tried to sleep with my sweet husband of 45 years & missed the closeness of him. When I awoke I thought I was paralized. Your understanding of Fibro is a God send.
Joe, What an awesome guy!!! If my husband had a fraction of your compassion, we would not currently be going through a divorce! Your wife is very blessed!
I have both fibro and CFS (actually post-polio syndrome) and have had success with an electronically adjustable bed with the individual pocket coil springs and a pillow top. I use about 8 pillows to make a ‘nest’ and haven’t been able to share a bed with my husband for many years – I snore terribly and he has ‘restless leg syndrome’ so neither of us got any sleep. Its MUCH better on our marriage to sleep in separate rooms..we have lots of special together time other than our sleep time.
I have fibro and, *I* believe, the CFS returned from when I had it in 1976.
Anyway, disabled from work since Feb. 1992. Wow!! have I had trouble with beds/sleep surfaces!! Tried a bunch of ‘em.
But…now have THE VERY BEST ever solution for ME. I sleep in a recliner chair but it wasn’t comfortable when I tried sleeping in the *reclined* position.
By trial/error, I discovered a STRANGE set-up….but it has pretty much ELIMINATED!! the stiffness and tossing/turning and unrefreshing sleep.
I have a small table next to the recliner chair…I have one pillow that I place over the arm of the chair and extend that pillow onto the table.
Then, I use one of those “SQUISHY” pillows (a couple years ago, they were in ALL the drugstores, etc)…it’s sort of like a bean bag chair but filled with very tiny filler “beads”….
I put the footrest part of the recliner up and lay on my side such that I’m slightly in a diagonal position relative to the chair.
My head is on the pillows that extend from chair onto table and my legs extend onto the footrest.
There are TWO factors I believe make this so effective. One, my upper body is slightly elevated. Two, I do NOT change position during sleep as I formerly did. I rarely feel the need to change position while awake, but I think being *still* during sleep possibly promotes restful sleep…at least for me.
Whatever be the case…..it’s FANTASTIC for me!
I suffer with FibroM, Rheumatoid Arthritis, and spinal/neck pain. I bought a Simmons Beauty Rest pillowtop bed. They said it had some memory foam in it, but I don’t believe it. I ordered it from 1800mattress and I will never do that again, as I went through 3 other beds before I found one comfortable enough for me. The next bed, I will try it out in person before purchasing.
To make this bed more comfortable and supportive, I ended up buying a 2 inch memory foam topper and a thick mattress pad from JC Penney for this pillowtop bed. This has helped me a lot and I feel “enfolded” and comfortable throughout the night. I also bought a $60 Isotonic memory foam pillow (it is shaped like a regular pillow) and I absolutely love it, as I have cervical herniated disks and pinched nerves and live with chronic neck pain for many years now. I believe Memory Foam is the best thing that has happened since bread and butter. Remember that some are more dense and harder than others. That is why some people don’t like the tempurpedic beds. Not sure if they have different densities to choose from, but if they do, it will be my next choice, and if it is too hard, I will put a 2 or 3 inch less dense memory foam topper on it until I feel comfortable. Also, I found the curved/contoured memory foam pills very uncomfortable for me.
Eva Wilson, Miami, Florida
I have tried most of the sleep/bed alternatives that have already been mentioned with varing degrees of success,all of them being an improvement over the old fashioned inner spring mattresses.
I not only have FMS and CFS and a lot of the wonderful stuff that comes along with that. I also have pain from an old low back/hip muscle injury, multipal old whiplash neck pains and osteoarthritic knees. Years ago when I first injured my back/hip I found I was more comfortable sleeping on the couch where I had the back of the couch for support.
When I was first researching FMS/CFS I ran across the recliner solution that has worked the best for me. I have a heighth handicap and have over the years added a pillow between me and the back of my recliner and one of the squishy beaded neck pillows that Nichole mentioned to support my neck.
That said, sometimes my body cries out to be free to move or lay in positions I’m not able to get into successfully in the recliner or if I have to sleep away from home and don’t have the recliner option. At these times I have other remidies. If I have to sleep in a regular flat bed I have 2 foam wedges (one for the head and back and the other for the legs and knees) that simuulate the recliner position and I usually travel with them. At home when I feel the need to lay in a bed I have a pillow top inner spring mattress with a 4″ memory foam pad over it and use a pillow between my knees. I use the wedges if I am on my back, it helps. That is the best I have found as far as sleeping in a regular bed. But I can only sleep there for 3-4 hours and I am so stiff and sore that I can hardly get up to retreat to my recliner.
On occasions when we have gone camping I have used a inflatable air mattress. As far as comfort when sleeping and less stiffness and pain in the AM, it worked almost as well as my recliner. The only problem I had, it was on the ground and I had difficulty getting up on my feet.
For a pillow, when I sleep flat, a contoured foam type work best for me because it supports my neck.
Last but not least, I want to thank Joe for his VERY supportive comments. I am lucky to have a very supportive husband also, but many of the women I have met in support groups (f2f and online) are not as lucky. So Mary you are not alone. I think Mary Ann’s suggestion is a good one. I did that for years. Before that we tried twin beds. But when I wasn’t there all night, we discovered that we both sleep better in separate rooms.
That’s my 2 cents worth, hope someone finds something that is helpful for them.
I have a tempur pedic. We bought it a few years ago. Originally my husband and daughter bought a pillowtop nattress for me for mother’s day. Sad to say, from the first night I was not comfortable and did not like it.
After a few years we got the tempur pedic…and it it WONDERFUL!
The foam is temperature sensitive and tends to be extra firm (especially in air conditioning) when you first get into bed. But as it warms up it gradually molds itself to your body. You just need to give it a chance to warm up.
Having said that, those of us whose internal thermostats are wacky may have a problem with the tempur pedic, It can become too warm. In the summer I can get extremely uncomfortable and wake up way overheated.
I am 32 years old and was diagnosed with Fibro 4 years ago. I also have Lyme’s disease & chronic fatigue & now need to be tested for narcolepsy, as I fall asleep on the phone at work, mid conversation with someone in front of me, and even scarier, driving. I can’t do the waterbeds as I have been in to many car accidents and have permanent damage and a bulging disc. I cannot sleep without a pillow behind my back and between my knees and ankles, not only for back support but I can’t bear to have the bones rub against each other. This summer The pain was so bad, I couldn’t walk even 5 minutes, and I couldn’t even rub the soap or lotion on my body!!!I got so bad, my body was shutting down and my Dr said we need to do something, our you will be hospitalized or dead soon. I told her, I know and that I was in so much pain, I was giving up. I’ve fought and fought. I also have sleep apnea, terribly swollen sinus’. And those are just the current issues that I speak on as I try to look for a new bed. Not a great way for a 32 year old single, no kids, lady to be. I have even given up my dream of becoming a mother someday, as I just don’t know that my body could handle it and being so tired. When you don’t feel good, you don’t have a good outlook. My spirits are better now because in the last month, the pain has been more bearable.
Please give me any suggestion for a new bed or resources to find one. Thank you
I just want to feel normal. Far from the days when I worked 70 hours a week to try and save for a future. Now, it’s difficult to even get out of bed & all the money goes to a minimum of $10,000 each year in medical costs.
OMG! Every single thing that you said about yourself in your comments describes me exactly. I wish I had found this a year and a half ago and maybe I could have contacted you. As far as sleep comfort goes, I visited my sister who had a down featherbed and I never slept so comfortable in all my life and am now trying to find something like it for myself. Good Luck!
Have you heard of the Floating Bed? It moves, but the motion is far more relaxing than a waterbed. For a scientific explanation of why, see the web site. Many people with various health conditions (fibromyalgia, restless leg syndrome, Autism, post-operative recovery, more) are having good experiences with them.
First of all, I want to let Joe know that he is a gem!
As for me, I have a pillowtop mattress. I have found that an extremely thick FiberBed (non-allergenic feather-bed) helps my pain greatly. However, they flatten & need to be replaced every couple of yrs. and I am having trouble finding another one that thick! I tried a 3″ Isotonic that was over $400 at JC Penney, but it didn’t help (& the chemical smell was horrific, even after letting it air out for 24 hrs.).
I would also like to let Kim know that I am praying for her. I am 42 & am completely disabled from CFS & Fibro, … I am rarely able to even do errands. I never married, & did not consider having children because I knew I was too exhausted to even take care of myself. Please consider getting onto disability. I know it is not an easy process, & a drastic drop in money to live on, but I was eventually able to get onto SSDI & Medicaid. (And, I’m sure you are aware that you are endangering yourself & others by trying to drive.) Life is nothing like I had planned (I live with my father in a small apt.), & it is very difficult, but I try not to lose hope. I have found that reconnecting with friends through FaceBook helps fill in the void from not being well enough to socialize anymore. I sincerely hope that you are able to regain your hope & find some relief!
I also have Fibro. But also have several herniated discs in lower back and neck.
The only bed I can sleep on is a heated watered. Everything else puts too much pressure
on our sensitive points. I was stupid and after qualifying for disability. I went back to
School and now have extreme debt and my pain is so bad and another injury has caused me
to have surgery and I need a total knee. Now I think I need to go back disability.
This disease is not only disabling but can cause severe depression.
I can identify with you, Kim…..I, too, have Lyme’s disease, FM, herniated discs in neck and lower back, and sleep apnea. I have been sleeping in a recliner chair with ottoman for 5 years. My kids all think I’m nuts since I have two very expensive and good beds in the house, so it is so nice to know that I am not the only one who finds a recliner chair more comfortable. I am thinking of getting a pillow top for my “real” bed, but I want to know what works best for people with FM. I sleep much better if I am “cushioned” and sleep with four pillows in my chair. I might do okay with a 3-5″ top on my mattress, but I find it very difficult to sleep on my side with a CPAP machine, it seems that I can only be on my back. I am very hot-natured, although I hear from others with FM that night sweats and getting hot are common – is this so with you other folks? And also – I have a contoured memory foam pillow that I stopped sleeping on because it made my head hot!
Wow, good to know others are sharing solutions and experiences – I was diagnosed just last year and am now 58 and disabled. I never knew if it was my back, neck, sleep apnea (they say it causes pain also), Lyme’s disease or the FM that causes me to wake up and barely be able to move in the mornings. The salesperson at the sleep number store told me that people with FM cannot abide sleeping on anything with springs – that it touches the very root of your pain, regardless of the thickness of the mattress – any ideas on this?
I have FMS and arthritis in my neck also. We have two beds from KINGSDOWN called the Sleep System beds, they are numbered and they are used for burn victims. They are made with a special material so as to help with pressure points. I love my bed, my hubby sleeps better than I do. I have the number 3 and the worse I get I wish I had a number 2 so it would be softer. Give these mattresses a try, they are great!!!
They have a really thick pillow top on them.
I would try a Tempur Pedic Cloud Supreme. I think you will be pleasantly suprised.
I am 42, with FM/CFS.. I have had my Kingsdown for 3 years.. I had a beautiful King size bed and bought the kingsdown to relax in.. ended up moving myself into the guest bedroom and into the kingsdown it felt so much better.. Now Im divorced and brought my Kingsdown with me.. I dont know what I would do without it.. Its soft and comfortable.. I dont wake up nearly as stiff as I did it a top of the line, innerspring bed. Its a pillow, so you can only rotate it..but thats fine.. They are really heavy!! and the mattress is about 16 inches at least.. with a 9 inch foundation, or Id need a ladder to get up there!
I got mine at Mattress Giant and I had a prescription letter from my dr, so I had tax taken off.. they arent cheap, but they are worth every cent.. I suggest Kingsdown to anyone with pain issues such as mine..
I was dxed with FMS in 1995. I have tried just about every bed. The sleep number was nice, but when I got it soft enough, I couldn’t get out of it! So would have to pump it up to get out and then back down to go to sleep again. This was not conducive to my husband’s rest. We had a king size and sent it back within a month. Cost to send it back about 6 yrs ago was over $100. I have been on just about everything including the couch and recliners. Here is what I have found and you’re not going to believe this: We have a king size bed made from two twins. My husband has a regular twin set mattress with a “cuddle ewe” as a topper. I have a twin mattress on the bottom (no box springs) then I have an air mattress (one you use for camping-cost starts at about $20), then I have two of the foam egg crates, a king size comforter folded in half and then the mattress cover, sheets, blanket etc. I put an old fitted sheet underneath both mattresses to keep them together. I have small bolsters at the foot of my side to keep the blanket weight off of my feet. I use a feather pillow in the lower center of the bed in case I want to sleep on my side (one knee on the pillow). I would suggest that you get the thicker air mattress, not the thin ones. You can adjust the amount of comfort level for you with the amount of air you pump into it. I have used this method since we sent back the sleep number bed. I have to replace my air mattress about every 6 months. Hope this helps someone.
I have had FM for over 10 years and am desperate for a memory foam mattress. I have spent countless nights laying there in pain trying to visualize what it would be like to have a better mattress. I used to use a memory foam topper from Walmart and that worked well until I met my husband. He is much larger than me so he would create what felt like a black hole I would sink into with the topper. My body would spend the night tense trying to hold itself out of the hole and away from another moving, breathing body.
Now, what I have on my vision board and what I am saving for is an Essentia Natural Memory Foam Mattress. Expensive, yes, but everything I’ve read about it seems to be ideal for FM. It is natural, so no off gassing or smells. It sleeps cooler then Tempurpedic so you don’t get over heated. They have different firmness to choose from. And it’s eco friendly, a plus in my book.
I slept on a tempurpedic one night while on vacation and felt like I found heaven on earth. So a natural version without chemicals and smells – I want one! I’m seriously contemplating going into more debt just to get a good night’s sleep. Sounds like an excellent investment to me.
Have been sleeping on an SAT ded for more than 7 yrs now. The ABSOLUTE best bed I have ever tried. http://www.satbed.com. My husband and I were going to by a Sleep Numbers bed, but I conducted research and found the SAT bed — glad I did. I recommend readers go to site and investigate themselves. Only thing I’ll do with the next SAT bed purchase is get an adjustable frame so I can elevate my head or feet when needed.