When you're exhausted and it hurts just to be touched, it's pretty much a given that it's going to impact your sex life. Several studies have looked at sexual dysfunction in women with fibromyalgia (FMS), and a recent survey of them concluded that there is definitely a link. The authors say we need more studies to figure out why.
What are some possilbilites? I can think of several. First, as I mentioned, being tired and in pain doesn't exactly help. Here are other things I think could contribute:
- FMS-related strains on our relationships
- Higher likelihood of pain related to intercourse
- Poor self-esteem from losing abilities/functionality
- Your partner's fear of hurting you
- Sexual side effects of medications (especially antidepressants)
- Brain-chemistry abnormalities of FMS affecting sexual desire
It might seem easier just to ignore sexual dysfunction and give up on sexuality. However, bringing sex back into your life (in some form) could help with your relationship, your self image, and even your brain chemistry! Sex can increase levels of endorphins, which are natural pain killers.
To help you tackle this problem, here's a selection of articles from About.com Sexuality Guide Cory Silverberg:
Some possible causes of dysfunction may take counseling or finding more effective pain management. If you're not sure how to raise the issue with your doctor, here's an article that can help:
Do you feel you have sexual dysfunction? How does it impact your life? Have you found ways to get past the dysfunction and re-introduce sex to your relationship? Help other people by sharing your experience - just leave a comment below (and remember, you don't have to use your real name.)
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My sex life went out the window about three years after I got sick. I just kept getting weaker and sicker. My hubby and I worked around it as best we could, but eventually I got so weak that any sexual stimulation made me worse for days.
My husband still had desires, so it became a one way affair for a long time, with me taking care of his needs orally.
The doctor put me on lyrica a year ago, and I have been feeling better. Two months ago I noticed a return of those good feelings. But then I overdid, and came close to a flare, so it is back to being careful.
I am looking forward to seeing what develops when I get over this bad spell.
Has anyone had problems w/reaching an orgasm since Fibromyalgia? I want to make love with my husband. We have a good sex-life. Although, he is afraid he is going to hurt me. I can tell his self-esteem has dropped due to me reaching an orgasm. I feel it “right there” ready to go, (we are adults, so forgive my frankness). But, I am desperate. It’s frustrating and I end up having to stop due to being too tired and not being able to go on due to no energy and than he finishes. He has asked me what he needs to do, and I WISH I could tell him. Does anyone out there have any reasons for this. He thinks it’s the medication I am on. I am on a lot! But, we used to have an every nite sex drive and now it’s just snuggles and watching tv in bed. I miss our love making and SO want to show him that it’s not HIM. It’s my body
Thanks to those who will respond to this. Blessings… ~b
I felt I was reading my story while reading yours..
The big O is so far few and between for me now.. As much as my husband is supportive of the fibro he hasn’t quite got there in the bedroom if you know what I mean..
I wish I had someone I could talk to about this! Out of all the crap that comes along with fibro, sex is one of the things that worries me most.. I have always been such a sexual person and I feel like I have lost that part of me, as well as body confidence..
Before I was diagnosed with FMS I couldn’t understand why I ached to badly. It began to interfere with our sexual activities.
I finally began to seek help with different Dr’s and after 5 years I was diagnosed.
My husband and I sat down and talked about it and he was very open to changes in the way we do things.
We don’t have sex as often as he would like, but I’m a mess—-and he understands. We save it for my “good days”.
Just keep the lines of communication open and things will work out.
It is not only my fibro that interferes with our sex life, it is painful sex. Through self exploration, I found that the rim at the entrance to my vagina is extremely tight. Once we get past that and if I am not screaming in pain. We are ok. If I have any pain at all my partner stops. We have found other ways to satisfy each other, but dearly miss intercourse.
If you think fibromyalgia is bad for women, I think it is even worse for men. The lack of restorative sleep makes it very hard to function sexually, and the complete and utter lack of libido also makes sexual function very difficult. Then you add on all of the muscle and nerve pain, stiff neck, etc…I haven’t had sex with my wife in 2/3 of a year. To men, work and sex are perhaps the two most important parts about what makes them men, and these have been taken away. I have no sex drive, or no drive for anything for that matter.